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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970354">The Little Book of Larry</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/flarrow_huntbastian/pseuds/Ever%20Since%20New%20York'>Ever Since New York (flarrow_huntbastian)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Abused Harry, Abused Harry Styles, Abusive Parents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Anorexic Harry Styles, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Dysphoria, Bulimia, Bulimic Harry Styles, Bullying, Cutting, Dentists, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Fear of Dentist, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Hurt, Hurt Harry, Hurt Harry Styles, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lost Love, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson is Protective of Harry Styles, M/M, Married Couple, Married Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Memories, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mute Harry, Mute Harry Styles, Muteness, One Shot, Pain, Protective Louis Tomlinson, Protectiveness, Romantic Fluff, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Harry, Self-Harming Harry Styles, Short One Shot, Sick Harry, Sick Harry Styles, Sickfic, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Teacher Harry Styles, Vegetarians &amp; Vegans, Vomiting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:27:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,193</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/flarrow_huntbastian/pseuds/Ever%20Since%20New%20York</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of one-shots about Harry and Louis.  Although not all will necessarily include them as a couple, some will.  Please know I fully respect all members of One Direction as people and artists and these works are entirely fictitious.  So any links so any future rumours or truths are pure coincidence.<br/>Also be aware that not all tags apply to all stories.  Possible trigger's in each short will be listed at the top.<br/>Also, a summary of each story will be in the notes above!<br/>I also accept prompts so feel free to comment.  They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Ignorance on the Internet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Louis reads an article on the internet that depicts Harry as having a relationship with up and coming supermodel Ophelia Anderson.<br/>How will he handle the idea that his boyfriend is cheating on him?  Will he find out the truth?</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Self harm and heavy angst</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Crying in the bathroom… well done Harry.  Why could you not just leave it?  You had to try and defend yourself.  What is your problem?</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>… Two hours earlier… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Louis was reading an article on his iPad.  It described, in detail, the relationship between Harry Styles and Ophelia Anderson, an up and coming star in modelling.  The article spoke about how the who met whilst Harry was filming the music video for one of his new songs and apparently they instantly clicked.  In the article there were photos of the two of them getting coffee and having dinner.  Normally Louis wouldn’t care for an article like this.  However, what struck Louis was the date the article was posted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?”  Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…” Harry, who was sprawled out on the sofa, hummed in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you met up with Ophelia recently?”  Louis asked casually, looking up from his iPad,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… no why?”  Harry responded not looking up from the book he was reading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It went downhill from there.  Louis didn’t believe him and was quick to accuse him on lying.  It ended with Harry getting hurt by a man he’d once considered calling a lover.  If Louis couldn’t believe him on this then how could he expect him to have his back on anything? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen Ophelia in months Louis,” Harry said, a bitter tinge to his voice,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop fucking lying to me Harry!” Louis yelled, “I know you saw her last week! There’s proof right here in this article!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis stood up, standing face to face with Harry, puffing his chest out in an attempt to intimidate him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what?”  Harry said, trying to hide the wobble in his voice, “I don’t have to take this…” He muttered, turning on his heel and quickly walking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look in Harry’s eyes was enough for Louis to realise his wrong doings.  Although Harry tried hard not to show it, he saw the hurt.  What had he done?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry!” He called after the younger man but there was no response, he was already gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>*</span> <span>*</span> <span>*</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry was sitting in the bathroom, curled in a ball on the floor, when an idea came to mind.  He opened the cabinet to the left of him.  Inside there was a wooden box.  He carefully opened it to reveal a few items, some of which were wrapped in a cloth.  He plucked one of the bundles out of the box and slowly unwrapped it to reveal three silver blades.  Each had a small snake carved into the side.  He carefully rolled up his sleeve, pulling his arm into view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hardly even hesitated when he dragged one of the blades in a smooth line across his arm and he couldn’t look away when blood began to speckle and trail down his arm.  He then repeated the action of dragging the blade across his arm, again and again, again and again, over and over.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so lost in the moment that he didn’t hear someone announce their arrival into the house and he didn’t hear the knocking on the door and he didn’t hear Louis threatening to knock the door down if he didn’t get an answer soon.  However, he did notice when someone grabbed his hand, sending the razor flying across the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry!” Louis yelled, “What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt tears spring to his eyes, beginning to pour down his face as he bawled.  Louis was quick to wrap his arms around the younger boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry…” soothed Louis, “I should have believed you… I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis began to stroke Harry’s hair as the younger cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know the photos are old.  I didn’t realise until I looked closer.  I thought you lied to me.” Louis explained, “I’m so so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis held Harry as he cried before carefully cleaning the cuts and wrapping his arm securely in a clean white bandage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was that day Louis decided never to believe anything he read online again, especially if it was about Harry.  His Harry.  The love of his life.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I also accept prompts so feel free to comment. They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. If you need anything, Tell me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Louis enters the tour bus in the morning to find Harry passed out on the sofa at the back.<br/>Louis will look after him until he'd better.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Sick Harry, throwing up, dizziness, illness</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry was sprawled out on the sofa in the back of the bookstore at three AM.  He couldn’t quite remember how he got there but if his headache was anything to go by he must have arrived drunk and blacked out.  However, if the feeling in the pit of his stomach was anything to go by, being drunk was currently the least of his problems.  Either way the nauseating dizziness he was experiencing was enough to make him quickly black out again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry... Harry dear…”  Louis gently called, kneeling down next to the sofa where Harry was currently unconscious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older boy was deeply concerned when he entered the tour bus that morning to find the younger pale and unconscious on the leather sofa at the back.  He suspected that he’d simply gotten drunk and fallen asleep, however, as he approached the sleeping male he quickly realised that there was no smell of booze anywhere near him.  Which could only mean one thing, there was something wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry,” he called again, gently shaking the younger's shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm..” Muttered the boy in response,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, dear… I need you to open your eyes for me…” Louis asked softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slowly opened his eyes before crying out and quickly shutting them, placing the heel of his hands over them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, dear?” the elder asked, concernedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm… headache…” He muttered, “Must be the hangover…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Louis was really concerned as he knew from how pale the younger was, and the lack of the smell of alcohol and he couldn’t have been drunk last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dear, are you sure you were drunk last night?”  Questioned Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… um… I’m not sure…” Muttered Harry before asking, “Could you pass me my sunglasses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Yes, of course,” Louis replied, looking around the room for the shades. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spotted them on Harry’s shelf on the bus and so quickly went to retrieve them.  He then handed them to the younger, still sprawled on the sofa.  Harry took them and carefully placed them back on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better?” the elder asked a small smile on his face as Harry pulled himself into a sitting position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he responded quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis walked out of the room and returned a few minutes later with two mugs of hot tea.  He carefully passed one to Harry before settling next to him on the sofa.  Harry gingerly sipped on his tea before pulling a face and putting the tea down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it dear?” the elder asked.  Concern once again etched into his features, “Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry love?” He asked again when he received no answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think… I think I’m…” Suddenly Harry shot up from his spot on the sofa and made a run for the bathroom, his shades falling to the floor in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry!” Louis cried, quickly running after him only to have the bathroom door slammed in his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gently knocked, “Harry… H, love?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to knock again when he heard the sound of retching through the door.  the elder decided to wait a minute before entering the room.  Once the retching had died down a bit he knocked again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry sweetie, I’m coming in okay?”  When he heard no protest he gently pushed open the door to reveal an exhausted looking Harry slumped over the toilet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my,” Muttered Louis, quickly moving to kneel behind the younger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a few moments before Harry went rigid and once started retching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay…” Comforted Louis, rubbing soothing circles on the others back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“G… go… away…” Muttered the younger in between heaves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving you like this Harry,” Louis responded resiliently,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said leave!”  Cried Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still Louis refused to leave as there was no way he was going to leave the younger to suffer alone.  Once the younger had stopped dry heaving he collapsed backwards into Louis, breathing heavily.  Although the position was less than comfortable there was no way the elder was going to try and move him.  Instead he carefully reached to the side and gathered some tissue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” He gently handed it to Harry, who gingerly wiped his mouth with it before placing it in the toilet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After another few minutes Harry had caught his breath again.  Louis gently placed a hand on Harry’s arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready to try and move?”  the elder asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded gently and so Louis slowly moved out from under the younger and placed a hand on his arm helping him stand.  Once up Harry realised how dizzy he was and it seems as if Louis realised too, as he began to grip the younger even tighter to stop him from falling.  Slowly, he helped Harry stumble out of the bathroom and towards the doorway to the bus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?”  He mumbled sleepily,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My flat.  You can’t stay on the bus in this condition.” Responded Louis and when he received no response he took that as a signal to continue.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a good five minutes to get a very dizzy, exhausted Harry into his car, eventually he was strapped in and Louis was in the driver's seat next to him.  Upon touching the chair Harry passed out almost instantly, clearly so exhausted from throwing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>----------</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry woke with a start.  His eyes darted around the room, the darkness stopping him from identifying where he was.  He shot up into a sitting position and waved his arms around in an attempt to feel something to identify his location.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was waving them around when he hit something warm that made a sound as he hit it.  Suddenly the room came alive with light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, woah… calm down!” Called Louis, moving to sit on the bed next to him, “Are you alright?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry’s heavy breathing calmed significantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ye… yeah sorry… I, I just didn’t know where I was,” Harry laughed breathily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.” Louis smiled back, “How are you feeling?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I… Fine?  Why?” Harry asked nonchalantly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not remember yesterday?”  Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, wait, what happened?”  Harry asked concerned,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had a twenty-four hour bug.  You had an extremely high fever and you threw up before passing out.” Explained Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh…” Was all Harry said, before adding quietly, “Sorry you had to deal with me like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis shook his head quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No… No!  It’s okay,” explained Louis, “I don’t mind really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hadn’t been feeling right for a while.  I’m so sorry you were there when it took full effect.” Said Harry closing his eyes, “I usually just sleep off illness.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Louis took one of Harry’s hands in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was really worried about you Harry.  If you’d been feeling that way for a few days you should have told someone.” Louis explained, “You need to tell me next time.  I don’t mind looking after you.  You shouldn’t have to suffer alone.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry opened his tired eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Muttered Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine.  Now tell me again, how are you feeling?”  Asked Louis seriously,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry lightly shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like shit.” He replied bluntly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay well, I’m going to get a bowl in case you feel sick.  I’m also going to get you a glass of water and paracetamol.  Then we’re going to put on some crap on Netflix and I am going to lie here with you and keep you company while you get the rest you need.” Louis instructed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis smiled lightly before following through with exactly what he said he would do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was about to get into bed when he turned to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you need anything, anything at all.  Tell me straight away.” Instructed Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Said Harry smiling tiredly as Louis sat on the bed next to him,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They decided on some rubbish programme and settled down to watch it when Harry spoke up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Louis, you know you said if I need anything, to tell you?” Harry asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis hummed in response, looking at the younger boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold me?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis laughed lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He then wrapped his arm around Harry, pulling him close so the younger boy's head rested on his chest.  He then began to play with the boy's long hair soothingly as he drifted into a calming sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you all enjoyed this one shot!<br/>Please leave kudos and a comment if you did!<br/>As always I accept prompts so feel free to comment. They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Cookies in the Cupboard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry's in recovery and Louis is a Jr. Volunteer who makes it his mission to make Harry smile.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Anorexia and Mute</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Harry. Can you remember the first time you experienced something like that?” Asked a woman with long brown hair, tied up in a neat ponytail and grey glasses that sat on her nose giving the impression that she was an intelligent woman with much to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence that followed the question spoke more than the boy, in grey sweats and a black T, had in days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you tell me about your feelings when it happened?” She tried a different approach, “Were you sad? Angry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she was again met by no response she used her black pen to etch notes onto the page in front of her.  She then placed her pen down on the notebook and adjusted the pot of stationary just to the left of her.  They sat in silence for another five minutes when she let out a small sigh.  She was losing patience with the boy and it was clear that he too was fed up of this ‘conversation’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry.  We have fifteen minutes left…” She began, “There will be another appointment set for tomorrow with Alice as I’m out on a meeting.  The appointment will be your weekly two hour check.  Meaning you’ll have a few tasks to do on paper and a small evaluation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she spoke she knew Harry was taking in all of the information, even if he was still staring at the same spot on the carpet as he had been for the entire forty-five minutes he’d been in there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow your appointment will be in the Rec room rather than here and Luke will be the one taking you to and from it…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still Harry was silent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. So there’s only ten minutes left but I’ll get Louis to take you back now as there isn’t really anything else I’d like to do with this time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She carefully picked up the phone on the desk and keyed in four numbers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello … Yes … Harry and I are finished for today … I know but there was nothing else to discuss … Yes, he’s aware of tomorrow's arangements … Okay … Thank you, I’ll see you in a minute … Okay … bye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as she put the phone down there was a gentle knock on the door and a tall man with short brown hair walked in.  He was wearing black jeans and a white v-neck T, with a red flannel unbuttoned over the top.  On his flannel there was a silver name tag reading, Louis Tomlinson Jr. Volunteer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Emma,” Louis said, waving to the woman at the desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked up and smiled, “Hello Louis.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stood up and walked out of the room, ignoring Emma as she said goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still not talking, eh?” Louis asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid not.” Emma quickly replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis replied with a sad smile and then left the office to see that Harry was already turning the corner at the other end of the corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Harry, wait up!” Called Louis as he caught up, “We go through this every time, I have to walk you back whether you like it or not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the door and allowed Harry to step through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how’s it going?  Talk about anything interesting?”  He asked jokingly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, wow… sounds like you had a blast!” Louis continued sarcastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked to Harry to see that he really wasn’t impressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look dude,” Louis said, “You know you can’t stay silent forever.  You’ll have to talk eventually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry kept walking, looking down at the ground.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally they got to Harry’s room and he let himself in, ignoring Louis as he said goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat down on the bed and let out a sigh.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His room was painted pale blue and had white furniture.  There was a small desk, a chest of drawers and a small unit for hanging clothes in.  Along with that there was a single bed with light grey bedding and a royal blue comforter.  There was a chair in the corner of the room made of dark grey leather.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Knock, knock!” Said a boy as he opened the door, walked in and let the door close behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Harry,” He said as he sat on the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let out a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I guess therapy was tough then.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slowly nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I see you’re still not talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked down at his lap slightly embarrassed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you don’t mind I’m going to be your silent company and just sit here and read comics for a while.” The boy said as he pulled out a small pile of comics from his bag and opened one before looking at Harry, who chuckled silently at the other boy's antics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy had been a constant visitor in Harry’s room since he’d arrived.  On his second day there the boy had walked in, not realising that the room had been given to someone else.  He introduced himself as Liam and explained to Harry that the room used to be empty so he’d go in there and read comic books.  Although Harry never said anything Liam seemed to like his company and Harry didn’t mind having someone there either so from that day forward Liam just let himself in and would just sit and read and sometimes make the odd remark here and there and Harry would sit silently, sometimes reading one of Liam’s comic books and sometimes just thinking about life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An hour passed when there was a knock at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry… and Liam…” Said a woman as she entered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Mrs C, guess it’s my time to go.” Liam said as he stood from his seat and gathered his comics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, lunch is just being set up in the hall so I’ve been sent to make sure everyone is in their own rooms and ready.” She replied,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, see you later Harry,” Liam said whilst saluting to Harry before leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the door closed she turned to Harry. She gave him a sad smile before going into the corridor and retrieving a metal trolley and pushing it into the room. Upon the trolley was a needle, some antiseptic wipes and various other items.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay Harry. As usual I have to ask, are you going to eat anything?” She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just stared at his lap, ignoring the woman in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you try?  Just a little?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again.  He didn’t respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok.  Well, you know the drill.  Hold your arm out” She gave him a sad smile when he rolled his sleeve up and revealed the scarred arm beneath it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled on some white latex gloves and got to work preparing the needle.  Once she was ready she turned back to Harry and placed a blue band on his arm above the elbow.  Although this was hardly the first time he’d had a line put in, Harry still couldn’t watch as the needle went in and still flinched when it penetrated his flesh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All done!” Mrs C said all too cheerfully, “Now Joe will be along shortly to attach the bag.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you have to eat!” Anne almost yelled, she was struggling to keep her cool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her frustration at her son for his childish games was strong but she was not about to give up. Harry just stared at the ground, silently, never once saying a word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For Goodness Sake Harry! Say something!” This time Anne did yell.  “You can’t keep acting like this! You are not a child any more!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt tears well up in his eyes. He tried but he couldn’t hold them back, he was now full blown crying in front of his mum but Anne didn’t notice.  She was too caught up in her rant.  She didn’t mean to sound harsh but she was so worried about her son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are an eighteen year old boy who needs to get his act together!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt his chest tighten and his breath shorten.  He had to get out, now.  He hurriedly walked past his mum and out of his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he walked away he could hear his sister Gemma chastising their mum for shouting at him but right now he didn’t care.  He needed to get away.  He wasn’t entirely sure where he was going to go but he walked down the corridor to and through the door at the end.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he got there he found a small storage cupboard he could hide in.  Once he was in there he quickly closed the door and let himself slide down it to the ground.  He had his head in his hands as he curled into a ball on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure how long he was there for but he heard a quiet knocking on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry…”  He softly called, “It’s me Louis… Please open the door… it’s just me, I’m alone.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>After thinking about it Harry moved and opened the door slightly.  Louis took this as a sign that it was okay to enter.  He carefully pushed the door and stepped before closing and locking the door again.  He then sat down opposite Harry, carefully positioning himself with his legs crossed to try not to crush the boy in the small space.  Once he’d settled he looked at the boy across from him.  Although there was only a dim orange light in the cupboard he could tell the boy was very pale.  He was sitting with his knees pulled close to his chest and his head looking down at his lap.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis sat still for a while, just letting the boy have a moment for himself. In the silence he began to hear Harry’s gentle sobs.  Once they’d died down a bit Louis decided it was time to speak up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”  Louis gently asked.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment of silence he continued, “No… of course you’re not… I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry moved a little and his gaze became set on the corner of the room, next to Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not much of a talker, eh?” Louis asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just lightly shook his head, briefly glancing at Louis before looking to the floor again.  They once again fell into silence before Louis spoke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I never used to be much of a talker…” Louis began, “Nope, never said a word.  I would just sit silently and watch the world.  I mean I still do it sometimes.  That’s how I learnt a lot of secrets.  You see, when you’re a listener instead of a talker, you overhear many things.  For example, Nurse Carter, well she claims to have no idea where all the cookies keep going but I know that she’s been hiding them and eating them herself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked up at Louis and showed a small smile.  Harry knew Louis was talking to him like a child but he didn’t mind too much as Louis was the only one not yelling at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, so you can smile. I thought you were incapable of it.”  Louis smiled back.  “I also know where she hides the cookies.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He then stood up and reached for a box on the top shelf of the cupboard.  He then sat back down opening the box before showing Harry the contents of the box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want one?” Louis asked hopefully, whilst taking one himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head signalling no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, I can tell you do… They’re really good!” Louis tried to tempt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could see the conflict on Harry's face. However, he slowly reached out to take a cookie from the box.  Louis tried not to stare as he hesitantly brought it to his lips and took a small bite. Louis couldn’t hide his happiness that he’d succeeded in getting the boy to eat something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re good right!” Louis stated and Harry nodded in return but still had an unsure look splayed across his features. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a little longer and Louis noticed that Harry wasn’t eating anymore of the cookie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to feel ashamed for eating you know,” Louis said with a sad smile,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know…” Harry replied quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis tried to hide the shock that Harry had actually spoken to him but he was certain he’d failed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… I can’t eat okay… I can’t…” Harry finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Louis replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry gently placed the cookie into a tissue he’d found on the floor and put it on a shelf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for at least another ten minutes before Harry slowly began to get up and unlock the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them walked slowly back to Harry’s room and when they entered the room Harry felt himself begin to well up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay.” Louis said gently pulling Harry into a hug, “It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I also accept prompts so feel free to comment. They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Never Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry Styles truly believed he deserved everything he was getting.<br/>After hiding things for so long, one mistake will out his secret to his closest friends and his boyfriend.<br/>How will they take it?</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Abuse, abusive dad, dead mum, fainting</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry Styles aged 19, straight a student and a fairly popular boy in school. Many would consider him a kind, happy boy and he never gave them a reason to think otherwise. He was on good terms with pretty much everyone in school, even though he was a fairly quiet person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mum died when he was seven years old. She was very ill and at the time and sadly he didn't understand what was going on but now he does. He understands that his dad is amazing and very kind and very helpful. He works at the hospital. He is a doctor and he saves people's lives every day. He also understands and knows all too well that the world is very, very unfair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was raining outside. Harry woke up to the sound of the alarm blaring in his ears. He rolled over in bed, stuck his hand out and hit his alarm in hope that it would stop. But there was no joy. In the end he knew he would just have to get up and turn it off properly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him a full hour to get dressed and ready for school unlike every other morning where it only takes him 15 minutes. He then grabbed his bag and phone and descended down the stairs to greet his dad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Morning" he said with little excitement in his voice. His dad replied with a grunt before saying "where do you think you're going?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry replied by saying that he was going to be late for school but his dad was having none of it. As Harry went towards the door his dad got up went up behind him and hit him across the head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry jerked forward and hit his head on the door. "That'll teach you not to answer back!" yelled his dad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dad you're drunk!" Harry yelled only angering his dad further. His dad showed this by roughly turning him and grabbing his neck. He kicked Harry in the stomach multiple times before leaving an oxygen deprived; in pain Harry leaning against the front door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that display of morning drunkenness from his dad Harry gathered the courage to slowly open the front door and walk out like nothing had happened remembering to close it softly behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he arrived at school he quickly checked his face in his car mirror to make sure he had on the right persona. He entered the building and went straight to the sixth form common room. He entered, throwing his bag onto a chair before slumping down next to it.  He harshly rubbed his forehead to try and ease his headache just as the bell rang.  Signalling the start of first period.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First period he had English, which he personally found easy as heck and he was done with the work in a matter of minutes but he had to stay there for the entire lesson. So he sat there talking to his friend Niall about his celeb crush and random things like that, all the while trying to pretend that he didn't feel his broken ribs sticking out slightly through his shirt. On one occasion Niall gave him a concerned look when he let out a pained hiss after laughing but Harry was quick to shut it down by saying he'd been working out too hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When English ended Harry was about to leave before the teacher stopped him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry!" The teacher called, "Stay behind, we need to talk."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course sir" Harry replied politely,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry gathered his folder into a neat pile and went to sit down in front of the class to wait for everyone to leave. After a few minutes the room was empty and the teacher closed the door to the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry, is everything okay?" The teacher asked with a concerned look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry so badly wanted to crack. He'd waited so long for someone to ask him that question, so long that he just wanted to break down into sobs and tell him everything but he knew he couldn't do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes sir... Everything's fine." Harry replied as smoothly as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure? It's just I've noticed you haven't quite been yourself recently. You've been more closed off than usual."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry wanted to tell him. He wished he could tell him but he couldn't and he only knew one way to get the teacher to stop asking questions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you know about me!?" Harry almost yelled, "How would you know if I'd changed? You never talk to me in lessons so I'm sorry if you want to win that teacher of the year award but I'm not going to pretend to have a problem just so you can fix me!" And with that Harry walked out of the room leaving the teacher silent and stunned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he got into the corridor he made a run for the common room knowing that everyone would be in lessons. He let himself slide down the door after it closed and he let his tears fall. He just sat there with his legs pulled up to his chest crying for what felt like an eternity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry returned home later than usual that day to find his dad drunk and passed out. He took this as an opportunity to get changed and go to the local cafe before his dad woke up, but sadly for Harry it wasn't that easy. It was NEVER that easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He headed upstairs and went into his bedroom. He was turning around to look in the mirror when his elbow caught a vase on the bookshelf. Harry thought that the smash wasn't too loud and that he would be okay, what he didn't realise is that the vase had hit a book, that had hit another ornament causing a domino effect that sent a wall of books and ornaments cascading down to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't long before he was being dragged by the back of his shirt to the cellar. He screamed to his dad, he begged, but alas nothing worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Time Skip</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning Harry woke up with a massive headache; the rest of his body felt strangely numb. It took him a few minutes before he realised he was lying in the front garden with all of his belongings scattered senselessly around him. He couldn't remember what had happened but he had a feeling something bad had happened that night. As he got up he felt an intense pain but he chose to ignore it. He slowly gathered everything, put it in his car and drove off to school in hope of remembering what had happened along the way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until he was halfway to the school he realised it was eight o’clock in the evening.  Why the hell he was going to school he didn’t know, he just needed somewhere to lay low for a while.  He then decided rather than to make it a wasted trip he'd go and visit some of his friends who are boarding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He entered the main hall to see Niall walking towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry!" Niall called,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H...hey..." Harry replied with a tight smile as pain shot through his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is everything okay?" Asked Niall concerned,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y... ye.. y.. yeah" he replied as pain once again struck him, this time causing his heart to race.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall could tell that Harry wasn't quite telling the truth but chose to walk with him and ignore it for now. When they got so far they bumped into Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Liam" greeted Niall,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Niall, Harry" waved Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry said nothing; instead, he took to biting his lip in hopes of his pain going away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why don't we go and hang out in my room since I have a little studying to do?" Niall suggested whilst continuing down the corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds good!" Liam replied,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn't reply; he just nodded slightly and continued following Niall. Liam and Niall weren't quite sure what was going on with Harry but they decided to wait until they got to Niall' room to ask him about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam and Niall made some small talk as they walked and both made a few attempts at casual conversation with Harry but didn't get much of an answer until they heard a large thud come from behind them. Liam spun on his heel to see Harry leaning against the wall completely dazed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit, Haz, you okay?!" Niall asked running back to help Harry stand up straight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Niall touched Harry, Harry jerked away from his touch. He stumbled a few feet before grabbing back onto the wall letting out a yelp of pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Harry... What's wrong?" Liam walked to where Harry was now leaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn't answer and once again when anyone went to touch him he jerked away violently letting out another groan of pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm... I... I'm tired" Harry stuttered slowly, his eyelids fluttered furiously as he did so. He slid further down the wall he was leaning on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time Niall did catch him and Harry didn't shake him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay..." Niall soothed putting an arm around Harry to try and help him. He carefully took most of Harry's weight and started to help him down the corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay..." Niall soothed once again. He told himself he was saying it for Harry but he knew in the back of his mind that he was really saying it to himself and Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam noticed that Harry's eyes were closing slowly. Niall stopped concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry. Haz..." Liam called trying to keep his eyes open. "We're almost there. Just wait a minute".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn't respond. He just stood there looking pained, dazed and confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry..? Haz…? can you hear me?" Liam called,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After no response for a few minutes, Liam decided to take Harry to his room as it was closer.  They hauled him the last few feet when Liam handed Harry off to Niall so he could get out his room key.  He had just unlocked the door when he heard a thud from behind him.  When he turned he saw Harry lying on the floor with Niall holding his arm slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's unconscious..." Niall stated lamely, concerned for his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay..." Liam opened the door to his room, "Let's get him in and on the bed then I'll call the school nurse."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam and Niall carefully carried Harry to the bed. Once he was lying on the bed Niall undid Harry's tie and removed it before undoing the top two buttons of his shirt. Once the buttons were undone Niall could see angry bruising all over the exposed skin on his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Liam, get the nurse now!" Niall half yelled terrified about what had happened to his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Liam saw what Niall was looking at he felt sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are we going to tell Louis…” Muttered Niall Liam as he got out his phone to call the nurse.</span>
</p><p><span>*</span> <span>*</span> <span>*</span></p><p>
  <span>Harry opened his eyes to a blinding light. He shot up into a sitting position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry!” Cried a boy from next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over to see Louis, his boyfriend sat next to him, tears in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, baby.” He cried lightly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry looked away ashamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry…” He murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize.  I just… You should have told me H, I could have helped.” Tears were freely flowing down Louis' cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matching the tears falling from Harry’s own eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, it’s okay…” Soothed Louis, “He can never hurt you again.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis wrapped his arms around the younger boy.  Holding him close while he cried out all of the pain he’d bottled up over the years of abuse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He will never hurt you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always leave Kudos and a comment!<br/>I also accept prompts so feel free to comment. They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Music Of My Soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is a re-write of a Flarrow fic I wrote.  Don't worry it's now a Larry fic.</p><p>Louis is a carpenter, and Harry is a street musician, in need of repairing his violin.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>This is just a fluff piece but I mean, Harry accidentally gets cut and there is mention of blood but nothing really angsty or in detail.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Okay! Everyone please remember we are now in central Paris so don't leave the designated area." Said Mrs Huck to the class of excited year 9 pupils as she led them off the bus and over to the short hedge that was placed in front of the Eiffel tower to add aesthetics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the year 9's ran this way and that, still staying in the designated area. Two of the children went over to one particular spot. A girl called Ennette and a boy called James. The girl had long curly brown hair and fair skin. She was wearing ripped jeans and a red hoodie. The boy had short brown hair and was wearing black straight cut jeans and an oversized grey hoodie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is this the place?" Ennette asked. James pulled out a picture and held it in front of them so they both could see it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. I'm sure of it." Replied James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the picture there were two men, probably in their late twenties, early thirties. One held a violin and looked as if he were mid-way in playing a song. The other man looked content in listening to the other play. Both had large smiles on their faces. James turned the picture over and read the words written on the back in pencil. It read 'The day I met Harry, the love of my life, 2003'.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's not here is he?" He asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It doesn't look like it." Replied Ennette sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was then they were called onto the bus. As the bus started to drive Ennette looked at James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I see the map?" She asked. James handed her the map. She followed a red line that mapped out their travels. Then she squeaked with joy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is it?" Asked James,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at this," She pointed to a town square that was circled on the map because that was where the class was heading,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes?" Asked James,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's Dad's old carpenter shop," She said pointing to a shop in the square, "The one he and Harry turned into a music shop."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So.." Replied James confused,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at what it's still called?" Suggested Ennette knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James then read the name of the shop out loud, "Stylinson Music Emporium". It was then he caught on to what Ennette was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact the shop was still named the same meant that Harry still owned it. The second the bus came to a halt and Mrs Huck told the children could roam the square, James and Ennette headed to the music shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got outside to find the door was open. They entered. As they did they saw instruments, books of sheet music and amps for guitars. They then spotted the counter in the corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello?" Asked James, approaching it cautiously,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey," Replied a girl smiling, "What can I help you with?",</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're looking for Mr Harry?" Ennette asked, joining James at the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry but he's out at the moment but I can give him a message for you if you like?" Suggested the woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James looked to Ennette and then to the picture in his hand. Ennette then nodded knowing what he was considering doing. He then handed the picture to the woman. He then pulled another photo out of his bag and handed that to the woman also.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please can you just give these to him," Said James before he and Ennette left the shop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey sorry I was so long!" Said Harry as he rushed into the shop, "Did you sell anything while I was gone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No." Replied the woman sadly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh no..." Breathed Harry, "Jess what are we going to do?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry, I'm sorry but someone put a bid up on this place. If we don't get hold of at least £300,000 in the next month, this place will be sold" Replied the woman, Jess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know.." Responded Harry shakily, "Why don't you head home? I'll stay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jess nodded and went to leave before turning and handing the photos to Harry, "Two children brought these in about half an hour ago." Harry thanked Jess before she left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sat down behind the counter and looked at the pictures. At first he noticed writing on the back of both of them. One of them read 'Ennette and James Tomlinson, Christmas Panto 2017'. When he turned it over there were two children, standing on stage. One had long brown curly hair, the other had short brown hair. They looked like they'd just bowed and they shared a striking resemblance. When he thought of the names he could swear he recognised the surname but he couldn't place it. He found it weird someone had left him a picture of two children he didn't know. It wasn't until he read the back of the other picture he realised why. They weren't just any old children. They were his children.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Summer Of 2001, Central Paris</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had arrived at the usual spot for his busking. He unpacked his violin and set his case down for people to toss money into. The weather and so he knew many tourists would come to see the Eiffel tower and so hopefully he could make quite a sum of money today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was playing violin renditions of famous pop songs today rather than classical stuff he played in Le Rouge in the evenings. Le Rouge was a restaurant he was paid to play in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was mid-way through It Wasn't Me by Shaggy when much to his dismay one of his violin strings snapped and flew back in his face. He apologised to his small gathering of listeners before he checked the violin over to see the string had nicked the body of it, leaving a deep scratch that would damage the sound the violin made. He decided to pack up the violin and head home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was half way home when he saw a street map. He noticed there was a carpenter's about five minutes away. He decided it was worth seeing if there was anything someone in the shop could do and so he headed in the direction of the shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he arrived, he entered to see a man sanding what looked like a statue of the Eiffel tower made of oak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry decided to see what else the man had made since the shop was filled with small wooden statues. He was just looking at a birdhouse when a man walked over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Excuse me?" He asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Replied Harry turning,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your face is bleeding," The man stated. Harry held a hand up and touched where the violin string had hit him. He then pulled his fingers away to see blood. He started to feel a little light headed and he collapsed into the arms of the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he came around he was lying on a sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wh...where am I?" He slurred slightly, "What happened?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The same man from before walked over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay you're just in the back room of the shop. You fainted because of the blood," The man stated with a smile,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh... God. How embarrassing," Said Harry blushing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fine", replied the man, "I dressed the wound but I would feel a lot better if you'd stay here for an hour or so to make sure there is no lasting damage."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My name's Louis, Louis Tomlinson." Said the man taking a seat by where Harry was still lying,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm Harry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what made your face bleed Harry?" Asked Louis curious,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My violin string snapped and lashed back at me. I knew it scratched the body of my violin pretty badly, hence why I came here but I didn't know it had cut my face,” said Harry sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh. Is it this violin?" Asked Louis, holding up Harry's violin case. Harry just nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis opened the case and looked at the violin before muttering a few things and turning to Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It should take about two hours to fix," Stated Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh that's great. How much will it cost?" Asked Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's on me." Said Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Asked Harry confused,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not everyday a cute male faints into my arms so I'm considering this a good day." Harry just blushed as Louis said this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Present day</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at the picture remembering it like it was yesterday. How the day after the violin was fixed Louis wanted to see where he played. Some street guy had taken the picture and it became the logo for their shop until they moved to London. They decided to have children but shortly after they had found a surrogate and had started the process and Harry fell ill. They never sold the shop but they didn't work in it but truthfully Harry really missed Paris so after he fully recovered he decided he wanted to go back. Louis wouldn't go back because the woman was due to give birth in London but Harry couldn't take himself away from Paris again and so that caused so many arguments. In the end Harry just left without him and they broke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had never forgotten Louis or the possibility that his children were out there somewhere. He never contacted Louis again after he went back to Paris, as much as he wanted to meet the children he knew he'd broken that bond a long time ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>London Present Day</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis woke up to find he had an email. He assumed it was from the school, and that they were sending pictures of the children in Paris but when he opened it he felt tears come into his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hello,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm hoping you still use this email. Ennette and James came into Stylinson’s today and I wasn't there but they left two pictures with a woman who works there. They told her you miss me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis I made the wrong choice. The shop is being sold, not by choice but if you taught me anything, it's that it's destiny. I'm on my way back to London. Maybe we could meet for coffee sometime.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>From Harry Styles.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis considered not responding but then he realised he had to.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey Harry,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I live in Manchester now. James and Ennette really want to meet you and the truth is, I never stopped loving you. Maybe if you're up for it we can backtrack and pick up where we left off. We could do things right.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love Louis.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis had attached two photos and when Harry saw them he smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first was of him and Louis. He was wearing black skinny jeans and an old grey hoodie. The other was Ennette and James. What caught his eye is that James was wearing the same hoodie that he had once worn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't wait to play his violin for Louis again and Louis couldn't wait to hear its sweet gentle sound.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave kudos and a comment!<br/>I also accept prompts so feel free to comment. They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. White Shoes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry is pulling is fourth all-nighter that week... Louis shows up to help him out.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>No real warnings as it's kind of a fluff piece.<br/>There is mild panic but not really and someone accidentally get's burnt by hot coffee.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was midnight. Harry was in work typing away on his computer. He was typing up notes needed for work. It was his fourth all-nighter that week and it was Thursday. He knew he'd be up all night and so he decided to head out to get coffee. He thought about it and he decided to take his laptop so he could do some work while he had his coffee before he returned to the office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went across the road into Jamie's Cafe, it's a fairly new cafe that does hand ground coffee and homemade pastries and cakes. It's open 24/7 as well, hence why Harry liked it there. It got him through some tough all nighters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He entered the cafe to see the usual dark red leather seats and dark oak tables with magazines dotted about. The cafe had a homely vibe that felt warm and comfortable. He saw the usual empty seats and then he spotted Niall. Niall worked nights in the cafe every Sunday and Thursday. Niall’s friend Liam was behind the counter tonight.  Most of the time Liam was there and so Harry had also come to know him very well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Niall," Called Harry, giving a light wave to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi Harry!" Called out Liam from behind the counter, while Niall just smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The usual?" Asked Niall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah please, can I get it with an extra shot of espresso please?" Replied Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes of course" He smiled starting to pour the coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he’d poured it he took the coffee thankfully and paid before he walked over and took a seat in one of the corner booths. He took a sip of his coffee while flipping through one of the nonsense gossip magazines that his sister Gemma loves. Usually he would have talked to Niall longer but tonight he wasn't feeling up to it which he understood, sometimes there are just nights where he doesn't want to socialize so Niall keeps her distance while still being there for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was just taking another sip of coffee when someone put a plate with a piece of cake on it infront of him. Harry just looked up slightly assuming Liam or Niall had misheard the order. He went to say something but a voice took him by surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Long night?" Asked a deep voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I uh...." Harry looked up to see a striking figure, "Yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well you could use something to keep your energy up," Said the man sliding the cake closer to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you but I'm not very hungry" Replied Harry tiredly. "Sit?" Asked Harry motioning for the man to take a seat opposite him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks" Said the man sitting down, "I'm Louis by the way. Louis Tomlinson".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah I knew I recognised you" Harry replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what's your name?" Asked the man after about five minutes of silence,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry, Harry Styles." Said Harry jumping slightly. "Sorry," he appolagised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No it's okay. You seem distracted, wanna talk about it?" Asked Louis gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhh..." Sighed Harry, "It's nothing. Just pulling my fourth all nighter this week".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis sighed slightly. "You know not sleeping for long periods of time is bad for you right?" Asked Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeahhh" Said Harry while yawning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't remember me do you?" Asked Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember you?" Responded Harry confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I work over the road from your office,” Started Louis, “You spilt coffee on me yesterday?”  Louis smiled slightly whilst Harry just looked up sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh sorry... I didn't forget I just. I wasn't thinking straight. I'm extremely sleep deprived" Replied Harry with a look of remembrance flashing across his face, and then it was quickly replaced with a tired expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry you should go home and get some sleep." Said Louis, picking a piece off the cake and eating it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't Louis. I've got too much work to do. Which reminds me...?" Said Harry getting out his laptop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you workin on?" Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just typing up notes..." Responded Harry simply, “In fact, can you read that for me, make sure it makes sense?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure! Let me see what you have so far?" He shuffled in by Harry and looked at the computer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis started to point out a few corrections and as Harry began to type Louis noticed the younger boy's hands were shaking from either the sleep deprivation or the amount of caffeine he'd taken in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey let me type?" Suggested Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You sure?" Responded Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course, it would be easier since I’m the one pointing out corrections." Louis pulled the laptop in front of himself and he started typing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>About halfway through typing he felt Harry leaning on his shoulder. He looked to the side to see Harry fast asleep with his head rested on his shoulder. Louis gently brushed Harry's hair out of his eyes and then he took his jacket which was folded next to him from where he had taken it off earlier and he put it over Harry so he didn't get cold. Louis took a minute to admire how Harry looked under his brown leather jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was woken up a few hours later to the sound of moving cups. He opened his eyes to see Abigale handing Louis a cup of coffee. Louis felt Harry move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey," He said gently,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey... What happened?" Asked Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You fell asleep" Replied Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh...." Said Harry tiredly before realising something, "Oh shit!" Harry yelled out. "What time is it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"3:56am" Replied Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh my god. I'm almost four hours behind. I need to get back to work." Harry started to get up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Harry, calm down." Louis said reaching out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't have the time" Responded Harry trying to get out of the booth. He went to grab his bag when he hit the table. The coffee Louis had split down the table and it splashed onto Harry's back because of the position he was in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit... shit... shit..." Muttered Harry as he felt his flesh burning. Louis jumped up out of the way so Harry could get out of the booth as Niall came over with a towel to clean the mess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry you're gonna want to get that top off." Said Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Asked Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry you need to get your top off so I can see the damage done and then we can put cold water on it to take the heat out of it okay?" Asked Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just nodded in response. His back was in so much pain he physically couldn't talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis removed Harry's top to see his skin was already blistering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry we need to get you to the hospital." Louis said calmly. After doing so Harry half nodded as the two of them headed to Louis’ car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got to the hospital and Harry was seen almost instantly. He kept hissing in pain, he could hardly move because of the burns on his back. Louis tried hard to keep him calm and comfortable but it was hard because he was just in so much pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day Harry woke up in a hospital bed surrounded by his mum, Gemma and Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh my, Harry you're okay!" Said Anne practically throwing herself on Harry, but he hissed in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh sorry!" She said quickly, stepping away slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry asked if he could have a minute alone with Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry Lou." Said Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you sorry?" Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I mean I fell asleep on you meaning you were stuck in the same spot for almost two hours and then I wasted your time because you had to bring me here" He said, rambling slightly. Louis just laughed lightly and held up the trainers Harry had been wearing that night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Looks like these are ruined." Said Louis still laughing. At this point Harry joined in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. They're badly stained. What sort of idiot wears white shoes?" Replied Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A very good looking one..." After Louis said this Harry stopped laughing and just looked at Louis, directly in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point Louis advanced forward and sat on the side of the bed. He leaned forward slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is this okay?" Asked Louis quickly but he soon got his answer when Harry used his hands to pull Louis down so they're lips touched and they shared a kiss that was like pure energy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they broke apart Harry took the shoes off Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want me to throw them out?" Asked Louis, "I mean they're covered in dark brown coffee stains".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. Actually I want to keep them" Said Harry smiling and thinking to himself 'that way every time someone asks me about them I can just smile and think what sort of idiot wears white shoes. And then I can remember this moment forever.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's like Louis had read Harry's mind since he laughed and muttered "Good Idea" Before once again connecting his and Harry's lips in a long passionate kiss.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave Kudos and a Comment!<br/>I also accept prompts so feel free to comment. They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Be On Depressants</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zayn finds Harry's anti-depressants and makes a comment without thinking.<br/>Louis has to comfort the younger lad.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>panic attack, depression, crying, upset</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Are you okay?”  Niall asked Zayn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m fine, I just have a little headache, probably because of the crowd.” He replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis walked into the room having heard Zayn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry always keeps paracetamol and ibuprofen in his bag.  I’m sure he won’t mind if you take some.” Louis spoke quickly, “He keeps them in the back inside pocket.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Thanks man.” Smiled Zayn, walking over to Harry’s black duffel bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam and Niall entered the room as Zayn dug through the duffel.  Liam and Niall started up a conversation with Louis.  Talking about how brilliant the concert was and how amazing the crowd was that night.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall started explaining that Harry had a phone call and so he’d be there soon.  They were all chatting away when Liam noticed Niall reading something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything alright there?” Asked Liam concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn stood up holding up a bottle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys, I think Harry’s on drugs?” Zayn spoke slowly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No… No, he’s not” Said Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Liam stepped forward taking the bottle, “Those are anti-depressants.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Niall Liam and Zayn looked at each other in concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry’s not depressed,” Laughed Zayn, “I mean have you seen the kid.  This had to be a front for some other type of drug addiction! If anything he’s overly happy and should be on depressants.” Zayn laughed again, “I mean, did you see him today? Skipping around as happy as could be… surely he’s on drugs.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Zayn was cut off from his rant when a hand quickly snattched the bottle of antidepressants from  Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry…” Muttered Liam, sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just drop it!” Harry hissed, tears falling from his eyes, “I heard everything.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He then turned on his heel and ran out taking the bottle with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could you say those things?”  Asked Louis,  “Harry’s had depression for years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Asked Zayn in shock, “I didn’ t know…?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s called smiling depression!” Yelled Louis, “Of course you wouldn’t fucking know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall and Liam looked taken aback.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He always smiles, is always kind and never says a bad word about anyone!” He continued, “So of course you wouldn’t know that it physically pains him to get out of bed every morning! That I have to hold him while he cries at night!  That on the days when he feels so empty and numb there is nothing that anyone can do to cheer him up and yet he acts like nothings wrong!”  He finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis looked on the verge of tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Louis.  If I’d have known I would never have…” Started Zayn but Louis was quick to cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care what you would have done!” He yelled, “The point is you shouldn’t have done it and now I have to go and find him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis stormed out of the room, not waiting for anyone to say or do anything else.  He was done waiting for people to do things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis walked through the halls until he came to a rather concerned looking Lou.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Louis!” She called, “God, I was just coming to find one of you.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” He responded hurriedly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  Harry rushed past me a few minutes ago.  He’s locked himself in the storage cupboard,” She explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just coming to find him.  Which cupboard?” Louis asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lou didn’t say anything she just began walking with Louis following closely behind.  They went around the corner and down the corridor until they stopped outside a door labeled “utility”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s in there,” Said Lou with a sad smile, “Now, I’ll leave you to it, okay?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, thank you,” He smiled slightly to her as she walked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held his ear against the door to hear light sobs.  He pulled his head away gently knocking on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry… H, Sweetie…” He called out carefully, “Please, H, let me in…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>There was a minute of silence when the click of the lock was heard but the door didn’t open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis gripped the handle and gently pushed it down, carefully opening the door to reveal Harry sat on the floor in the corner of the cupboard.  His legs pulled into his chest, his head buried in his knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H, love?” Called Louis sighing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed the door but this time he didn’t lock it.  He sat opposite Harry on the floor with his legs crossed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t listen to what Zayn said…” Louis started, “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he didn’t know…” Muttered Harry sobbing, “He was just joking.  He didn’t know and either way he’s right.  I shouldn’t be on them, I should be fine. I’m sorry...” Harry sucked in a shaky breath, “I’m over reacting.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Louis moved to sit next to Harry, putting an arm around him pulling him close whilst letting out a gentle sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, don’t say things like that.  It’s not your fault you have depression.  And whether Zayn knew or not he should never have reacted the way he did.  It wasn’t right.” Explained Louis, “And you are not overreacting, Harry it’s okay to be upset.  It is perfectly justified.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let out a loud heartbreaking sob.  Louis began holding Harry tighter, rubbing soothing circles on Harry’s arm.  He sat holding Harry until his crying died down and he’d gathered himself enough to leave the cupboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly the two  made their way from the cupboard and back down the corridor hand in hand.  Harry trailing slightly behind Louis the whole way back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They entered the room.  Louis gave all of the boys a warning look before allowing Harry to fully enter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, I’m so sorry!” Zayn cried, “I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine…” Muttered Harry, looking anywhere but the boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not…” Said Zayn, “I shouldn’t have,”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry cut Zayn off, “It’s fine really.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well, it’s not,” Louis piped in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s gaze instantly shot to Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not though Harry.  He shouldn’t have said what he did.” It was clear Louis was angry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… It’s f..fine… really…” Harry stuttered, beginning to breathe heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis instantly regretted yelling at Zayn in front of Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, Harry.  Sit down.” Louis carefully led Harry to the small sofa in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat Harry down on it and crouched in front of the younger boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, in and out… it’s okay… in and out…” Louis instructed, “That’s good… you’re doing so well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other three just looked shocked at what they were seeing.  They’d never seen the younger boy like this before and it concerned them greatly.  It was clear that Louis had dealt with this before which just made the boy’s wonder how long this had been going on for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zayn, can you get some water please?” Asked Louis once Harry had calmed down a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure.” Zayn quickly ran out of the room to find a bottle of water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis looked at his watch to see the time, checking to see if it had been long enough.  Once he knew it had been he looked back up to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you got them?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nervously looked at Niall and Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, they know,” Louis assured him,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine Harry, you don’t need to be embarrassed,” Added Liam reassuringly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slowly removed the bottle of pills from his pocket and with shaky hands he tried to remove the lid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay…” Soothed Louis, taking the bottle, removing the lid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Number,” Louis asked,</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Eight or nine…” Harry stuttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The number system is something Louis and Harry came up with in order to gauge how bad Harry was feeling when he wasn’t in a position to use his words properly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay Sweetie, two it is.” Said Louis, tipping two pills into his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Zayn finally returned with the water, which he handed to Louis to open, Louis gave the pills to Harry who quickly tipped them into his mouth.  He then handed Harry the water.  Harry quickly took a mouthful of water, swallowing down the pills as quickly as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis sat next to Harry on the sofa, rubbing his back soothingly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ll take about twenty minutes to take effect.” Informed Louis, “We should get going so you don’t fall asleep in the car or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, you two go, I’ll gather your stuff and drop it at yours later?” Suggested Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks mate!” Louis smiled, “Come on H.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Louis gently pulled Harry to standing.  He was still rather shaky but with a little help from Louis he was able to make it out of the door and down to Louis’ car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before Harry was lying in bed at Louis’ watching rubbish films on Netflix, trying not to get too stuck in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, love,” Said Louis entering the room, handing Harry a cup of hot tea. “It’s chai tea.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Thank you Lou.” Harry said, a small smile on his face,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s no problem at all.  You know I’ll always do anything for you.” Louis gently kissed Harry, carefully so as not to spill his tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed causing Louis to turn to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up Haz?”  Louis asked sweetly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Harry muttered in response, “I’m sorry you have to deal with me like this.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Harry, look at me.” He asked seriously.  Harry slowly looked up to meet his gaze, “Never apologize for any of this.  It’s not your fault and you should feel guilty for being this way, you can’t help it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis put an arm around him, holding him close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, how are you feeling right now?” Louis asked, “And please be honest with me.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry was silent for a moment before looking away from Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel tired and… and sad.  I think the medication is working but I… I have this weird empty feeling.  Like the one I used to feel, you know… back when you first met me.” Explained Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh sweetie…” Louis sighed sympathetically, holding Harry closer, “I know it’s horrible but I promise you it will get better.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry let out a few tears and Louis quickly wiped each one away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Said Harry, “I don’t feel like crying, it doesn’t make sense.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I know love, I know,” Soothed Louis.  “It’s horrible, but I swear, it will get better and I’ll be with you through it all.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Louis continued to hold Hary until his phone began to ring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Louis, speaking,”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey, it’s Liam.  Niall, Zayn and I are outside with your stuff.  We also have pizza but we didn’t know if you and H would be up for company?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m not sure,” Muttered Louis, “let me ask…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Louis turned to Harry, “H sweetie, the boys are here with pizza, are you up for company?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at Louis, his features showed how unsure he truly was.  Finally he answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t promise I’ll be much fun, but sure.  Why not?” He muttered tiredly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” Asked Louis and Harry just nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, he said he’s okay with it but just don’t expect too much from him okay?” Louis said to Liam, You’ve got a key so just let yourselves in.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay, thanks man.” Liam smiled ending the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re on their way up,” Louis smiled lightly to Harry who just looked tired. “Are you sure you want them here, I can say you aren’t well if you need me to.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No… no it’s fine,” Harry shook his head, “I just, you go out and greet them.  I’ll, I’ll be there in a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis nodded, kissing Harry lightly before heading out of the room. Leaving Harry to drink his tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Louis!” Said Niall entering the room carrying a large pizza box with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” He smiled in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey dude,” Liam smiled, carrying Louis and Harry’s bags.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for bringing our stuff back,” Smiled Louis in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really no problem.”  Niall and Zayn we’re sitting on the sofa when Liam spoke up again, “So, where’s Harry?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He’s in bed having a cup of tea.  He said he’d be out shortly.” Explained Louis, “Why don’t we start eating and he’ll join us when he’s ready.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys nodded as Niall enthusiastically opened the box.  They ate pizza until there were only a few slices left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, should we save the rest for Harry?” Suggested Zayn,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, that's a great idea.” Said Louis, closing the box and sliding it into the fridge to keep the leftovers fresh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, I’m just going to check on Harry,” Said Louis walking towards the corridor, “I’ll be right back.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The other three boys started talking amongst themselves as Louis left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis gently knocked on the door,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry sweetie,” He said entering the room to see the bed was empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?” He called again when he saw Harry huddled on the floor in the corner of the room, “Harry sweetie, what’s wrong?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Louis crouched down in front of him but knew better than to touch him in case he was having an episode.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay…” Said Harry, taking a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was surprised at how calm he sounded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was feeling panicky and needed to be grounded.” He explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis remembered going to a group with Harry where he was taught grounding techniques.  One of which was to find a solid ground where you could stabilize himself.  This explained why he’d chosen the corner as there were two walls and a floor to stabilise himself on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your number?”  Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seven,” Harry replied almost instantly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, what were you earlier?” He asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nine or… maybe even ten…” Said Harry quietly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… That’s okay.” Louis was concerned by this as Harry almost never got to a ten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, I’m going to ask the boys to leave.  It’s too early for another tablet and we’re going to light one of your calming candles and I’m going to hold you and make you feel safe and comfortable.” Explained Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Louis, there’s no need to send them home I’m… I’m fine…” Said Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you’re sitting on the floor.  You were at a ten.” Explained Louis, “I’m sending them home.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry reluctantly nodded as Louis left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is he?” Asked Liam hopefully,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not doing too well.” He explained, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything we can do?” Liam asked concerned,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No it’s fine. I just… I feel weird asking but..” Started Louis but Liam was quick to cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want us to go?” Asked Liam understandably,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing against you guys, he’s just having a bad day and he needs to relax and calm down.” Explained Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, we don’t mind but keep me up to date alright?”  Asked Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.  I’ll let you know how he’s doing.” Smiled Louis as the three boys left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was quick to return to his room with Harry’s calming candle and a lighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which candle is it?” Asked Harry quietly from his place on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s your lavender, orange blossom and thyme one.” Louis responded, “It’s the one the doctor recommended for your panic attacks, remember?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah…” Harry replied.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tone of his voice suggested that he wasn’t really paying attention to anything.  It was light and as if he wasn’t really there at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis quickly put on his joggers and a top before slipping into the bed with Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, H,” Started Louis calmly, “You remember your breathing techniques.  Let the candle relax you.  Try to pick out the individual scents in the candle.  Let each breath relax you.”  Louis talked Harry through his calming techniques.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis ran Harry through each and every breathing and meditation exercise, helping Harry to relax.  Before they knew it Harry was calm and relaxed enough that Louis could blow out the candle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis slipped back under the covers and positioned himself so he and Harry were lying on their sides facing each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Number?” Louis asked gently,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry thought for a moment before responding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three,” He said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis smiled lightly, “We’ll I’m glad you’re feeling better than you were earlier.  It’s almost midnight now so I’ll get your pill and then you can get some rest, alright.” Explained Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't mind getting it,” Harry said, moving to get up,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  No.  I’m doing it, you need to stay calm and relaxed.  I promised Liam I’d call him to update him on how you’re doing anyway.” Explained Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry pulled a face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it, love?” Asked Louis, concern thick in his voice,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just, I don’t want them to worry,” Said Harry, hiding his face behind his hands,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, they are about you.  We all do.  He just wants to make sure you’re alright,” Explained Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back,” Smiled Louis getting off the bed to retrieve Harry’s pill from the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly returned, handing Harry the pill and water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here you go love, I’m just going to call Liam.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry muttered thanks as he took the pill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis quickly called Liam leaving the room.  Liam answered within two rings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Louis, how is he?” He asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s okay, he’s very tired and just a bit down but he’ll be alright,” Louis replied,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s good.  Will he be okay for tomorrow?” Asked Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.  Li, he’s been worse than this before and you guys have never noticed.  He’ll be fine.” Louis explained, “Plus, I honestly think part of his anxiety is from hiding this from you guys but now that you know it should be a little easier on him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.  Anyway, I’ll let you get back to him.” Liam sighed, “If anything happens please don’t hesitate to call.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I won’t, thank you.” Louis smiled as the two bid their farewells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was quick to get back to Harry, slipping into bed with Harry holding him close.  Although Harry was taller than Louis he still enjoyed being the little spoon and he and Louis fit together seamlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis knew the day had been hard for Harry, and he knew that the younger lad would have worse days to come but all that matter was that right in this moment, he was safe and okay.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Eighteen year old, high school heartthrob, Louis FREAKIN' Tomlinson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This was a prompt sent to my insta @3ver.5ince.new.york<br/>I have changed the story line slightly so it fits my angsty writing style a lil’ better :)</p><p>High school AU where there’s a secret corner tucked between bookshelves in the school library where Harry finds his cute senior crush sleeping during 4th period.<br/>American high school AU. Harry’s a junior who takes regular trips to the library, Louis is a senior who accidentally falls asleep in the library during 4th period.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Upset, bullying, panic attack, throwing up(sorta)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry was walking the halls, head down, books tightly in his arms as close to his chest as they possibly could be.  Anyone looking at him may think he held them there because of their importance, however, Harry knew the real reason he held them over his chest.  It was a barrier, a layer of protection.  That way if someone pushed him it would be less lightly to leave a mark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, okay… it still hurt like a bitch, I mean, if anything the heavy textbooks made it hurt more but at least he didn’t have to explain any bruises to his parents or anyone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hazza!” Yelled a boy running down the corridor after him, “Where ya going Hazza?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry ignored him and kept walking.  Keeping his eyes trailing on the floor.  Not looking at who was following him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hazza!” He called again, “Hey, didn’t daddy teach you it’s rude to ignore people?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry kept walking.  Causing the boy to lose his patience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi! Fag!” He yelled, pushing Harry so his back slammed into the lockers. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tried to keep hold of his books but one by one they slipped from his grasp and tumbled to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know your secret Styles.  Don’t think I won’t tell people.” Taunted the boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W… What secret?”  Asked Harry, trying to keep his voice stable but it failed miserably as the words came out as more of a whimper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What secret!?” Laughed the boy incredulously before leaning closer to Harry and whispering into his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt intense panic rise up in his chest as the boy informed Harry of his secrets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy pulled back, not before lightly licking Harry’s ear, causing the younger boy to shudder visibly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So don’t test me alright, Styles.” The boy said, giving Harry a hard knee in the gut making him double over in pain and slide to the floor, before walking away laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell for fourth period rang but Harry couldn’t bring himself to move.  He knew… how could he know… no one knew…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was sitting there as the halls emptied out, no one stopping to see if he was okay, everyone rushing to their lessons.  He was there for god knows how long when he realised if he didn’t move soon the teacher on hall duty would give him a detention slip and send him to class.  He knew he had to go but he didn’t want to go to class.  He couldn’t sit in a room with him for an hour.  He needed to find somewhere to hide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly pushed himself to standing.  Walking on shaky legs, not even bothering to gather his books.  He just didn’t care about them anymore.  He just needed to hide.  He could always get new books.  His secret was already out, he didn’t need his protection anymore, there was no point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly made his way through the halls trying to keep in his sobs and avoid drawing any attention to himself.  He slowly made his way to the library on the second floor of the building, luckily avoiding any pupils or teachers.  He slid through the door and nodded at the librarian with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The librarian knew Harry well.  She knew he should be in class but she also knew that if Harry was cutting class then something was wrong and he needed his space so she always let him get away with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made his way across the library and around the corner to the classic literature section.  He made his way to the shelves labeled W-Z and slipped through a small gap in between two shelves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Very few people knew about this corner in the library and so it was Harry’s favourite place to hide out and think.  Plus, it helped that he loved classic literature and so he could never get bored there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let himself sink down against the wall so he was sitting on the floor.  He pulled his knees up to his chest and let out a shaky breath, finally allowing his tears to silently fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was lost in his emotions.  Finally letting out his broken sobs and hiccups.  He took in yet another shaky breath, running his hands through his hair.  Briefly looking up, then…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t know what to do.  There he was.  Louis Tomlinson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eighteen year old, high school heartthrob, Louis Tomlinson, asleep in the library.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t move, he couldn’t move, he didn’t know what to do.  Louis had moved in his sleep, he was partly blocking the gap.  He couldn’t get out without waking him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit… shit… shit… Harry thought to himself.  His breathing picked up.  He couldn’t move.  He couldn’t think.  He couldn’t leave.  He couldn’t breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to take in a breath but it ended up coming out as a strained whimper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw Louis move slightly.  He was waking up…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt like he was going to be sick.  He didn’t know what to do but he did know that he was getting dizzier and dizzier by the second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey… hey… look at me?” Called a voice but Harry couldn’t see.  He was too dizzy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re okay, just look at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt his eyes slip closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you need to stay awake.  Hey, look at me.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry tried to open his eyes, he tried to find the source of the voice but he couldn’t. He couldn’t breathe.  After struggling he finally got his eyes to open but everything was blurry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, good.” Said the voice, “Now, take deep breaths, you’ll be okay.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry struggled to suck in a breath but he tried, he really did.  However, his body had other ideas.  As he took a breath he choked on air and began to gag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, you’re okay…” Soothed the voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt a hand on his back rubbing soothing circles on his back as he retched and gagged.  He felt the burn on stomach acid making its way up his throat until it landed in a foul smelling puddle in front of him on the carpeted floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Once he’d stopped retching he felt something brought up to his lips.  He went to push it away when he heard the voice again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, let me… take a sip,” instructed the voice, “It will help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was too tired not to comply and so he did as the voice told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice was right.  The cooling liquid that entered his mouth soothed the burn in his throat and took away the vile taste of stomach acid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s better.” The voice smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Harry had calmed down enough for his breathing to even out and his vision to no longer be blurry.  Harry turned to look at the person next to him and was shocked when his sight landed on the blue eyes of Louis Tomlinson, senior heartthrob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Said Louis gently, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H… Hi…” Stuttered Harry in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis’ face morphed into a bright dazzling smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” He asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Replied Harry quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Louis asked, gently tucking some of Harry’s hair behind his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing… I just.  Nothing.” Replied Harry, shying away from Louis’ touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” Louis tried and Harry just nodded, “Okay, well.  Fourth is over in ten and then it’s lunch, you got any plans or any important lessons that you absolutely cannot miss this afternoon?” Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… no…” Harry thought for a second but then he realized he really didn’t want to face any one this afternoon.  He just wanted to go home and sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.  Let’s get out of here.” Louis stood up holding a hand out to Harry to try and help him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” He asked as he allowed Louis to help him up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To my car,” Smiled Louis, “And we’re just going to drive and have a good time.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry smiled and allowed Louis to drag him out of the library and down to the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course what the boys had said about his secret being out shook Harry to his core, however, right now he couldn’t find it in himself to care because he was hanging out with Louis Tomlinson, eighteen year old, high school heartthrob, Louis FREAKIN’ Tomlinson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His textbook protection, long forgotten.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I may write a part two for this, however, if I do it won't be posted directly after this so if you want a part two keep an eye out.  It probably won't be titled the same either so I will make it clear in the 'chapter summary' or 'notes' that it is a continuation of this one shot :)<br/>As always, leave kudos and a comment as it helps me to know if you like what you're reading!<br/>Also, I accept prompts so feel free to leave them below.  They don't have to be specifically Larry or even One Direction, however, if they are not they won't be posted on this work in particular but when I reply to your comment I'll let you know what the short is called so you can find it!<br/>You can also send prompts to my insta account @3ver.5ince.new.york :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Hello! :)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>PLEASE READ THIS! <br/>IT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO ME IF YOU DID! :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hello everyone!<br/>Now I wouldn't normally do this on here but after much thinking I have decided to do it.</p><p>My friend has started a band called 28-08 with her friend and I wasn't going to promote it on here as it's not really what I wanted to do on this account and I haven't posted in years so it wouldn't be fair.  BUT I listened to their first album recently and I actually really liked it and came to the decision that I would share it with you guys!</p><p>So the band is called 28-08 and they have an album out on spotify and other major streaming platforms.  The album is called Unfocused and it would mean so much to me if you could give it a listen and support them as they mean a lot to me and I genuinely believe they deserve a bigger audience. So please, please, please give them a chance and give them a listen :)</p><p>
  <a href="https://open.spotify.com/artist/5A4vyVRDhGyEYqkYeZtzJ5">https://open.spotify.com/artist/5A4vyVRDhGyEYqkYeZtzJ5</a>
</p><p>Thank you so so much for your continued support!</p><p>I love and appreciate you all so much!  </p><p>I hope you all have a wonderful day! </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Friendly Neighbourhood Help</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry Styles was fourteen when it first happened. He woke up confused about where he was and when he walked downstairs it didn’t feel like he was in control. It felt like someone was controlling him, or like he wasn’t himself at all. He went to school that day still feeling the same way and it was around morning break he started hearing it. It was like a voice in the back of his head calling his name, telling him to wake up. </p><p>! TRIGGER WARNING !<br/>Panic attacks, hurt and comfort</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry Styles was fourteen when it first happened.  He woke up confused about where he was and when he walked downstairs it didn’t feel like he was in control.  It felt like someone was controlling him, or like he wasn’t himself at all.  He went to school that day still feeling the same way and it was around morning break he started hearing it.  It was like a voice in the back of his head calling his name, telling him to wake up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made it through the rest of the day with the same feeling and voice in his head.  He just ignored the feelings and went by on autopilot.  When he made it home he just sat upstairs doing his homework, he spoke to Gemma a little but didn’t really interact with anyone much.  It wasn’t until dinner that night that Anne asked him about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry, Gemma and Anne were sitting at the dinner table when Anne turned to Gemma.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Gem, would you mind letting Harry and I talk for a minute?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was confused but allowed Gemma to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, are you feeling okay?” Anne asked concerned for her son,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… uh… yeah…” Harry replied unsurely,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay Harry, you can tell me anything?”  Anne asked knowing that Harry wasn’t quite being honest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just, I...  I think I’m coming down with something…”  Harry replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anne didn’t think it was quite the truth but she knew she couldn’t force Harry into talking.  Also, Harry didn’t look quite right so Anne decided to go with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, why don’t you have a lie in tomorrow and I’ll tell the school you’re sick,”  Anne suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”  Harry replied, “I don’t think I’m bad enough to miss school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know Harry but I know that you’re not okay.  Even if you’re not sick I want to keep an eye on it.”  Anne explained worriedly for her son’s health. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day Harry was fine.  He still had time off but he was fine.  Harry spent the next few weeks happy, nothing was wrong.  It wasn’t until Harry was 17 that something happened again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He woke up one morning feeling on edge.  Like his whole body was about to launch into a panic attack.  Harry walked downstairs with hair slightly more dishevelled than usual and he was looking a little pale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay Harry?”  Anne asked concerned,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y… y… yeah…” Stuttered Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take a seat, love,” Anne commanded, guiding Harry to the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sat down leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.  He began chewing on the sleeve of his hoodie.  It wasn’t the first time Harry had had a panic attack but Harry felt that this one was different, it was more intense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt his breathing picking up slightly.  The next thing Harry knew, Anne thrust a paper bag in front of him.  Harry shakily took it holding it to his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to breathe, Harry,”  Anne said as she put one hand over Harry’s on the bag to help steady it.  She placed her other hand on Harry’s back rubbing soothing circles gently.  “It’s okay Harry…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harry calmed down a bit Anne spoke up again, “You’re doing so well Harry…”  After another few minutes, Anne said, “You’re not going to school today.  I’ll phone the school once you’re more stable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anne sat and continued to soothe Harry.  She rubbed Harry’s back in circular motions.  Soon Anne felt Harry start shaking with sobs as he started to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay… it’s okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Harry’s tears had died down he went and changed into some sweats and was sat on the sofa when Anne came into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I spoke to school and they said that they understand the circumstances.” Anne started whilst sitting down next to Harry on the sofa.  “But I called my boss and she said she wishes he could let me off but I’m needed this afternoon as Lucy has a doctor's appointment.  But I don’t want to leave you here alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine Mum...” Harry said with tears still falling. “I’ll go to school… Or I’ll stay home alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No Harry.  You’re not going in… I’ve called Mr Tomlinson to see if he or his wife could check in.  They said their son could come over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Their son?” Harry asked, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes… They have a son a few years older than you.  But he’s out of school on study leave and so said he’d be happy to spend the day here with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded and soon Anne and Gemma had left and Harry was waiting for Mr and Mrs Tomlinson’s son to arrive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry was in a daze; his eyesight was slipping in and out of focus.  He couldn’t feel his body and his mind was all… fuzzy?  He was terrified.  He didn’t know how to deal with what he was feeling… He was sat in with his head in his hands and yet he felt like he couldn’t feel his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He barely felt it when someone put a hand on his back rubbing gently.  He tried to turn to look at the person but he couldn’t.  He felt too dizzy to move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just breathe…”  A voice off to the side spoke gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt the sofa dip next to him.  The hand on his back started rubbing a little harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay…”  The voice repeated firmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt the dizziness overcome him quickly.  He slumped to the size hardly conscious but trying so hard to hold on; to stay awake.  He didn’t realise that he’d fallen into the person next to him until he felt an arm hold him close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, just let go… it’ll be over soon…” The voice said gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt the darkness take him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He woke up lying on the sofa with a blanket over him.  There was a pillow behind his head and when he rolled over he saw a glass of water on the side.  He also noticed that the TV was now on and there was a documentary playing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slowly sat up only to be pushed back down by strong hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey… hey… it’s okay…”  Said the owner of the two hands,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked confused as a man came into view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You fainted.  You were stuck in a pretty bad anxiety attack.  You were fading in and out of consciousness until I told you to relax.”  He explained, “You may be feeling a little unsteady for a while.  As instructed by Anne here are your anxiety meds, something for the weakness and pain killers in case you need them.” He said as he handed Harry the six pills from the table, “And from experience and research I got you Gatorade to help with the dizziness and the energy loss.”  He finished before getting the bottle from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey no…” He said sitting down on the side of the couch by Harry’s legs.  “It’s okay.  You don’t need to apologise to me.  You’re going through something and I just want to help you”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,”  Harry muttered quietly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”  The man asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… it’s embarrassing.  I mean, I don’t even know your name…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Harry could say anything else the man replied, “Louis… my name is Louis.  And it’s not embarrassing.  It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.  I’m glad I was here otherwise you’d have been going through that alone.  There’s nothing embarrassing about an anxiety attack, I know how scary they can be and it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis gently helped Harry sit up so he could take the medication.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling now?”  Louis asked after a few minutes,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…”  Harry started but the words died on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, be honest with me,” Louis urged,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bad…”  Harry muttered very quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What sort of bad?”  Louis asked gently, moving closer to Harry so he could make eye contact with Harry whilst still being close enough to comfort Harry if he needed to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My heart feels like it's fluttering and my chest hurts.  I can’t quite get my head straight and… and I feel like I’m on the edge like I could launch into another attack at any second.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry went on Louis found the speed at which he spoke was increasing rapidly.  He knew he’d have to intervene soon if Harry continued like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey… it’s okay…”  Louis said placing a hand on Harry’s back to rub soothing circles as he had done earlier.  “I’m not judging you, I just want to help you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry and Louis sat like that in a comfortable silence for a while before Harry yawned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you tired?”  Louis asked knowing the answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded shyly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you go to sleep for a while, I’ll be right here when you wake up,” Louis suggested,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry gave Louis an unsure look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise I’m not going anywhere”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry gave Louis a small smile before Louis helped him to lie down again.  Louis moved to the floor next to the sofa.  He was sitting so one side of his body was leaning against the sofa and he was looking at Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes fluttered furiously as he tried to stay awake.  Louis slowly moved his hand to stroke Harry’s hair gently.  Harry leaned into Louis’s touch and relaxed visibly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right here…”  Louis said once more as Harry’s eyes slipped closed and the sleep overcame him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Letters To Myself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Louis does some spring cleaning and comes across a box of Will's high school memorabilia. Buried within the box she finds a letter seventeen year old Will wrote in the blackest time of his life. Finding the letter impacts Will in ways that may be destructive.</p><p>This may be a one-shot... I'm not sure.  There may be a part two but it really depends on what you guys think, so please leave a comment telling me what you think of this one! :)</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>suicide note, past dark thoughts</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Walking through the halls of Bretigon high never failed to remind Harry Tomlinson of his own high school days.  He was a fairly popular kid until he moved school and struggled to make friends..  From that day forward he was an outcast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the age of 13 Will was an anxious teen wondering where the next beating was coming from.  He hid at lunch and at break.  He never ate at school for fear of being called fat or for fear of his food being stolen.  Let me be clear, Harry Tomlinson was NOT a fat child.  If anything he was too thin, his high metabolism stopped him from putting on weight and his dance practice made sure any weight he did put on was built into muscle pretty quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now walking down the halls Harry thinks about how depressed he got, how much he wanted to just disappear, how often he truly thought of ending it all.  When he looks back now he looks back knowing that he got past it, he got through it and he’s better because of it.  He’s happy now, he’s married and he’s living the life he’s always wanted to.  He proved those stuck up bullies wrong and he came out on top.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had had a long day, he was tired and he just longed to go home and have dinner with his husband.  He drove home as quickly as he could and parked the car hap hazardously just so he could get in quicker.  Louis had taken the day off because he had built up holidays and was desperate to clean out the hallway cupboard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry entered the house to find it quiet.  After he removed his coat and shoes he entered the living room to see a familiar looking, old, envelope on the coffee table.  He couldn’t quite place where he’d seen it before but he knew he had.  He tried not to think too much about it as he placed his work bag in the living room and went to find Louis.  As he entered the kitchen he saw Louis waiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry,” he said gently, “I need to talk to you… Please come and sit in the living room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Louis led the way to the sofa Harry knew it had to have something to do with that all too familiar envelope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I found this when I was going through the cupboard.  It was in one of your boxes marked high school.”  Louis explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was then Harry knew exactly what the envelope was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wrote it when I was seventeen.” He cut in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis quietened knowing he was about to tell him what she wanted to know.  He reassuringly took his hand and held it tight, knowing this would be hard for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve told you about how hard my high school experience was before.  I got harassed every day and no one ever did anything about it.  When I was seventeen I had fallen so far, my grades were slipping and everything was spiralling so far out of control that I snapped and when one of the jocks came after me verbally I fought back.  I had so much pent up rage that I just attacked him.  I just remember there was so much blood, both mine and his.  But he came out worse than I did and so when I finally realised what I’d done I just left.  I cried as I drove home and I just… I was done… I knew I couldn’t show my face at that school ever again because all of his friends would be after me and they would kill me.  I was ready to end my life.  I wrote this letter when I got home and then I went into the shed in the back garden and I… I…” Harry had gotten so far but he choked up.  It was hard to relive his worst moments like this.  “I slit my wrists and I just let it bleed.  My father found me pretty quickly since he got home from work half an hour after I got home.  I was rushed to hospital and went through intensive care and suicide watch before going through in-patient care for months.  I missed my graduation and had to repeat my senior year but I got better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry finished and finally looked up.  Both he and Louis were crying and neither was ashamed of it.  They just sat and cried together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night Louis got into bed next to Harry who was reading.  There was a beat of silence before Louis turned to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C… can I see them?” Louis asked shakily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked away from him before saying,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve already seen them.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Louis looked shocked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” He responded,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve… you’ve seen them.” Harry spoke slowly, rolling up the sleeves of his navy pyjama shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was shocked.  Yes, there they were, the faded but still evident scars, however, when he’d asked Harry about them years ago he’d brushed it off as a kitchen accident and Louis had believed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“T… These?” He stuttered,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis gently lifted his arms and kissed the two scars on each of Harry’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you Harry.  I’m a little sad that you didn’t tell me this sooner but it’s fine.  I love you, I love you so so so much.  You are amazing and you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” Louis was once again crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I love you to Louis.  You have no idea how much.”  Harry was also crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I need to ask.” Started Louis after a moment, “You’re better right?  You don’t feel like that anymore?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry thought carefully before saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills every now and again, just when things get stressful but, I’m fine Lou.  I would never do this again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gestured to his wrists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.  I’m so glad.” Smiled Louis gently, “I love you so much H.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The two of them shared a gentle kiss before Harry spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too Lou.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the next few days Harry had this thought in the back of his mind.  He’d told Louis he got better.  He didn’t have thoughts like those anymore.  He couldn’t help but feel like he’d been untruthful.  He wasn’t sure but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.  Without Louis knowing he’d taken the suicide letter with him to work the next day.  When he had time alone in his office he opened it and read it.  He relieved every scar when he read that letter.  For the first time in a long time he truly looked at his arms where those scars were, they were still visible, they still ran deep.  He thought about that black day and how he felt.  After thinking over the situation over and over again he felt different.  But it was fine, he’s better right?  He got past this over twenty years ago.  Surely he’s just over thinking things.  He’s fine.  Right?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Stargazer Lilies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>PROMPT:<br/>Harry owns a flower shop.  Louis is looking at flowers for his wedding.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Fluff but kinda sad ending I guess... :(<br/>However, there are no real warnings to note</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It’ll take about half an hour.” Said a tall brown haired boy into his cell phone, “Yes, I know… I know.  Twenty tops I swear!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He pushed open the glass door to hear the ring of the bell, welcoming him into the small shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry, who was standing behind the counter, was instantly intrigued by the boy entering the shop.  However, he chose to wait until he was off the phone before approaching as he looked kind of stressed and upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.  I’ll see you later.  Okay… I lov….”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He started saying however, the way he pulled the phone away from his ear and stopped talking suggested that the person on the other end had hung up on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry watched the boy walk around the shop looking at bouquets and boxes.  All of the coloured strings and tethers.  He took in each and every coloured flower in each little grey bucket around the room.  It was as he stopped to look at a particular flower for more than a few moments that Harry decided it was time to step in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful, aren't they?”  Said Harry approaching the boy, however, it didn’t sound like a question but rather a statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Yes, what are they?” The boy asked, clearly startled by Harry’s presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re called Stargazer Lilies." Harry smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then looked at them closely.  It was clear to the boy from his expression that he was surprised at what he saw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is it?" The boy asked, confused.<br/>
"It's just that... no I just must not have noticed before." Harry replied, an amused and confused look playing on his features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What, what is it?" The boy asked again, a little more forcefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Normally they’re pink but as you can see these two are blue.” Harry pointed to two deep blue flowers, surrounded by a sea of almost identical pink ones</span>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whats wrong with that?" He asked, still confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's just, I could have sworn they were all pink.  I don't think I've ever actually seen a blue one before." Harry explained,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it a problem that their blue?" The boy asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... no" Harry smiled lightly “But, they're really rare.  A lot of people think blue stargazer lilies don't exist. There's a story behind them as the blue ones are rare."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A story?" He asked, looking back at the lilies,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, many people believe that they grow pink and turn blue.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The boy looked up to him, slightly confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turn blue?” He questioned, “What do you mean?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, the story is that they all grow pink and get picked.  But apparently, if a pink one comes in close contact with two people who are soulmates they turn blue.” He explained, his eyes lighting up as he spoke, “I know it’s just a silly story.  It’s probably just a mutation and I probably wasn't paying attention when I put them out."<br/>
The two were silent for a moment before Harry said, "I personally prefer the soulmates story.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The boy smiled back, “Yeah, me too.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry and the boy just stood looking at the flowers for a moment before Harry remembered he was working.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” He spoke up, “What can I do for you today?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The boy looked up confused, “I… you… what?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Um… you came into the shop.  I work here.  What can I help you with?” Replied Harry awkwardly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yes!” The boy's face glowed red, “Sorry… I’m here looking at wedding flowers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, will the couple be joining you?” Asked Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” The boy turned to look at Harry properly, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, usually the couple meet with the wedding planner to look at flowers?” Replied Harry easily,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… No, I’m the one getting married.” The boy replied,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” This time Harry turned red, “I shouldn’t have assumed.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It’s alright,” The boy smiled, leaning forward to look at the name tag on Harry’s apron before pulling away. “No harm done is there Harry?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I suppose not.” Harry smiled slightly in return.  “So, will your partner be joining you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy looked uncomfortable.  His features morphed from a small smile into a frown but was once again instantly turned into a clearly faked, awkward half smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No… No, she’s at work.  She trusted me to do this part.” He replied quickly, “She’s not really into fine details like flowers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, she’s missing out.” Harry replied quickly, “I happen to think this is the best part.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy laughed lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you would.  You work in a flower shop.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry walked away from the boy and over to the counter where he picked up the business card for the shop.  He turned around to see the boy had curiously followed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry handed the boy the card and smirked before saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that's why I OWN a florist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy laughed again.  As he laughed his eyes lit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two looked at each other.  Both smiling, neither saying anything.  Both lost in each other's eyes.  Harry felt something brush his hand, holding it but he didn't want to look away as he couldn’t be sure but it seemed as if Louis was inching closer to him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Closer and closer….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Closer. And. Closer?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until they were almost...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, uh, your wedding… flowers…” Harry suddenly stepped back away from Louis, their hands breaking apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Louis smiled sheepishly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right yes, my wedding… flowers.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Bad Habit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry has a bad habit of not telling people things. When Louis asks Harry out on a date Harry's habit gets in the way and he doesn't tell Louis a key detail about his life.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNING !<br/>There aren't any major triggers here.<br/>Maybe mild nervousness and throwing up.<br/>There's also some hurt and comfort</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to take you out for dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y… You what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to take you out for dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like a date?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes… I want to take you out on a dinner date.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t know what to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just say yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s how this all started.   Harry agreed to a date and Louis had taken him out.  At half six Louis arrived at Harry’s dorm room.  He was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a grey button down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was still in his uniform when he answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The reservation is for eight.  I thought I’d come by and tell you to pack an overnight bag since the restaurant is quite far out and so we’ll be staying at my parents’ house… And don’t worry, separate beds and my parents aren’t home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt really overwhelmed.  Louis had put so much thought into this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.  I just need to get changed and put a bag together and then we can go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Harry knew it they were in the car.  He still had that overwhelming feeling deep in his gut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Louis?” He asked gently,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,”  Louis replied looking over, whilst still keeping an eye on the road.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?”  Harry asked a little nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just a small steak house in my hometown.  I used to go there with my parents every time we had something to celebrate.”  Louis replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt panicked as soon as Louis said where they were going.  He knew he should have told Louis when he asked him out, but he didn’t.  Now they were almost at the restaurant so it was too late to say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They arrived at the restaurant at ten to eight.  They got seated almost instantly and Louis had been a gentleman.  He pulled out the chair for him and made sure he was okay.  Harry had almost told Louis the truth about how he was feeling but then he saw the look of happiness on his face and couldn’t do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The menus came around and Harry spent time looking over it trying to see something that would make this night easier but he couldn’t.  There was nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the waiter asked what he wanted he just asked for Louis to choose since he’d been here before and knew what the food was like.  Louis just smiled and asked for two classic steak dinners.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the meal came Harry saw that the meal consisted of steak, goose fat potatoes and salad with egg.  There was also some sort of sauce.  He ate slowly trying not to upset his already panic filled insides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the meal, Louis went paid and thanked the waiter before they headed back to the Tomlinson residence.  They had a good night together.  It was a great meal but Harry was really nervous about what was going to happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched a film and had a good time chatting and messing around before they decided to go to bed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>In the night Louis awoke with a start.  He rolled over in bed to see it was two in the morning.  He was wondering what had woken him up when he heard retching in the bathroom down the hall.  Louis carefully got out of bed.  He pulled on some grey sweats and left the room, not even bothering to put on a top.  He walked toward the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he got to the door he knocked gently but when there was no reply he pushed the door open to see Harry sat on the floor leaning over the toilet.  Louis walked over and placed a hand on Harry’s back rubbing soothing circles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry lurched forward again, throwing up into the toilet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay…” Louis soothed, “it’s okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harry was done Louis flushed the toilet and helped Harry back to bed.  Louis then left and returned quickly with a glass of water and a bowl just in case Harry needed it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you feeling okay?”  Louis asked sitting on the bed next to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow I’ll call a doctor and we can get you checked out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No… It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you were just throwing up.  You’re not fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am… I know why I was throwing up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?  What’s wrong Harry?”  Louis asked, still concerned for Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m vegan Louis.”  Harry suddenly blurted out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait… what… but you ate meat tonight?  And egg?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know… It’s just… I didn’t tell you when you asked me out and then you’d chosen the restaurant and then it was too late and I felt bad so I didn’t say anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been vegan?” Louis asked, still confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since I was seven, my dad took me hunting and he said we were going to cook what we catch and it just made me feel sick.  I mean… I already had a pretty bad dairy intolerance anyway but I mean I just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay Harry.”  Louis said, “You should have told me.  You haven’t eaten meat or any animal products in eleven years.  It’s no wonder your body has reacted this way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry… I should have said something… This is my fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.  Why don’t we put on a film and just lie here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded and so Louis turned on the TV and sat next to Harry on the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, can I maybe?” Harry started before letting the words die on his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis turned to look at him, “What?” He asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I maybe?” Harry gestured to Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Louis worked out what Harry was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Louis said happily, moving his arm to allow Harry to cuddle up against him with his head on Louis's chest.  Louis laid a protective arm around him holding him close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you feeling okay?”  Louis asked gently, rubbing Harry’s back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.  I’m feeling okay.”  Harry replied sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis lay a gentle kiss to the top of Harry’s head as Harry let the unconscious world take him once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis had no idea where this was going but he knew that there is nowhere else he would rather be.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. I Hate Hospitals</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is a Harry university fan fic.<br/>Harry has some pains in his stomach and ends up in hospital.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Crying, hospitals pain</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was one of the worst pains he had ever felt. He woke up at about 3 am feeling like his stomach was being pulled apart at the seams. He couldn't move and he could barely breathe, it just hurt. After about three hours of lying completely still, he fell into a rough sleep. Whilst falling in and out of consciousness, constantly in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Weirdly enough, when he woke up at half six to get ready for his morning lectures he felt fine.  That was until he looked at the clock and saw it was actually seven and so he was running late. He quickly showered and went into the kitchen to see his flatmates Niall and Liam drinking coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Harry,” Called Liam, “I made breakfast.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m sorry.  I’m running late.” He replied, “No time.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He grabbed his flask of coffee before rushing out of the flat.  Not even uttering so much as a goodbye.  Luckily he made it to campus on time and as he sat down in his first lecture it was like there was nothing wrong at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next few days were like any other, until one day he was on his way back to the flat. Halfway there he felt a spike of pain but he ignored it and brushed it off as hunger pains. When he got back he went to eat something in hope of relieving the pain but as he ate it only got worse and so he decided to take some painkillers and relax on the sofa for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until he woke up once again feeling like his stomach was being pulled apart. He realized he was on the sofa and found that there was now a blanket wrapped around him. He could see a clock in the corner and saw that it was only 7 pm. He could hear movement in the kitchen and so he moved to see what it was. His whole body erupted in pain as he stood up. He let out a yelp before falling back against the cushions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam and Niall quickly ran in to find Harry sat clutching his stomach. His eyes were closed and his face was scrunched up in pain. Liam was quick to react, checking Harry's temperature before grabbing his phone and calling 911 in case it was appendicitis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall took to comforting Harry, trying to get him to relax his face. He hated seeing his friend in so much pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fifteen minutes later an ambulance had arrived and there were paramedics assessing Harry before they tried to move him to the ambulance. When they made their way down Harry was being held up by Liam and the paramedic, meanwhile, since Liam was the only one who could drive, he gathered stuff Harry may need and said he'd meet them at the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting Harry down to the ambulance was hard since the lifts currently weren't working but they did it and soon enough Harry was lying in a hospital bed pumped up on pain medication.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How's he doing?" Asked Liam as he walked into the hospital room with a black duffel bag slung over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall refused to look up from his spot by Harry's bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's sleeping now. They gave him some painkillers and got some scans done." Niall replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've brought some pyjamas and a toothbrush," Liam replied, placing the bag down on a dresser across the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They want him a gown in case they need to operate," Niall said plainly, still not looking away from Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, he'll be fine," Liam said resting a hand on Niall’s shoulder. "It's Harry, Harry's always fine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know," Niall said looking up at Liam briefly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry was awake the next morning feeling better than he had the day before. The doctor had ruled out appendicitis and just wanted to run a few more tests to be sure that he was okay. It wasn't long before they were sure everything was fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam and Niall were sat on chairs by the bed chatting with Harry when a nurse entered to do one final check before removing Harry's IV and signing him out. She started by checking his temperature. Slowly her face changed from a smile to a tight line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is everything okay?" Asked Liam concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your temperature is a little high, that’s all." She said before continuing with the tests.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She carefully lifted Harry's hand and pricked his finger to check his blood sugar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again her face dropped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be right back." She said before walking away quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was staring off into space when she returned, this time followed by a man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong?" Asked Liam, knowing something wasn't right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before the doctor could answer Harry's head lolled to the side and his body began convulsing slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Quickly, get him flat." The doctor said jumping into life. The nurse quickly made the bed flat and put the sides up to stop him from falling off. The nurse then left the room, coming back a few seconds later with a tray.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor picked up a large needle filled with a purple liquid from the tray. He quickly inserted it into Harry's neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam and Niall just watched worried as Harry's convulsing died down and he became still. After ten minutes of the doctor and nurses checking vitals and fiddling with medication in the IV someone finally spoke to Liam and Niall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry is sleeping now and he'll probably be out for a while and visiting hours are over in about half an hour." The doctor explained before leaving the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam and Niall sat in silence watching Harry sleep. Niall heard a quiet sniffle from beside him. He looked over to see Liam had tears falling freely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's going to be okay," Liam said trying to comfort Niall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat together just watching Harry sleep when a nurse entered the room.  She started hooking Harry up to an IV bag full of a purple liquid. She then found the right spot on his collar bone and inserted a small tube before speaking to Liam and Niall. She explained that Harry will be signed in as an inpatient for the next two months for monitoring and tests before leaving the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Half an hour later the nurse returned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I’m sorry but visiting hours are over." She said gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Liam said before he and Niall left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night Harry woke up alone.  He sat up in bed scared and aone. He couldn’t help it when the tears came tumbling from his eyes and his body shook with heavy sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It just so happened that at this time a boy was walking past and overheard Harry’s sobs. He contemplated continuing to pass but the boy sounded so heartbroken, he needed to see what was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gently knocked but there was no answer so instead, he just entered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello?" He said gently approaching the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy in the bed sniffled lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Hey... It's okay..." He said walking around the bed and sitting in the chair next to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he got a close look at the boy, he was pale and had red-rimmed tired eyes. He looked like he was about twenty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gently reached forward and put a hand on the crying boy's arm rubbing it comfortingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm s...sorry." The boy stuttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, no. It's okay." He replied, continuing to gently rub his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The crying boy looked so lost and broken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Care to tell me what’s wrong?" He asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... I just hate hospitals..." He replied looking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure that’s all it is?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I.... no. I'm sorry... I just... I feel really alone. And I'm so tired but since I woke up I can't sleep... I just... I hate being alone. I live with two people so I'm never usually alone but here... I just... I can't... I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really don't need to be sorry. It's okay really."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hate being sick. I mean... I don't even feel sick, I feel fine and I just want to be at home."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That tube in your neck and IV in your arm say otherwise..." He went to say the crying boy's name but he realized that he didn't know it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry." Replied the boy sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"All I'm saying is that you're here for a reason Harry. I mean, that IV bag isn't just for hydration and you've got a feeding tube in your neck."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How do you know they're for that?" Harry asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I've got a feeding tube as well." The man replied by pulling down the neck of his grey V-neck top to show Harry the tube inserted just below his collar bone in the same place as Harry's. "Also a hydration IV is clear but yours is purple. I had one of those a few days ago. It’s got morphine in it for pain and it helps with seizures and epilepsy." The man explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I don't have epilepsy?" Said Harry confused,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Neither do I. Well I haven't been diagnosed with it yet so I don't know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them kept talking for at least another hour until a nurse came in. When she entered Harry was curled up on his side facing the boy and the two were laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry. Visiting hours don't start for another..." When the nurse looked up she saw who the man with Harry was. "Louis. What are you doing here? You should be resting."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I went to get a drink but when I passed I heard him crying so I came to see what was wrong and to try and cheer him up," Louis explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay. Now I need to hook Harry up to a feeding bag and then he needs to get some sleep and you need to sleep too so you need to go back to your room."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked slightly panicked when Louis got ready to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please stay..." Whispered Harry quietly so only Louis could hear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sally?" Louis said to the nurse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, Louis?" Asked the nurse,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is there any chance Harry could be moved into the empty bed in my room?" Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Louis, I don't think that's a good idea." She replied gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't see why not. Harry and I are on the same medication, it's not like either of us is going to infect the other." Louis argued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse looked deep in thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please, I've been talking to Harry. He hates being alone and it gets lonely in the hospital. I really think it will help him be more comfortable, and that way he'll get more rest." Pleased Louis. "Who knows how long either of us will be in here? And it’s clear Harry can't sleep in a room alone without being upset and if he's here for a while he needs to be able to rest without being upset."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse thought about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next thing Harry knew, Louis was helping him down the corridor to his room. Louis insisted on carrying Harry's duffel even though Harry had said he could carry it himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Harry was set up in the bed across from Louis’s the nurse hooked up the feeding bag to the tube.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now this may feel a little uncomfortable but hopefully it will get better." She said before adjusting his IV.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now you two need to get some rest. I'll come around in the morning to change the bags." She said before closing the door leaving the two alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slowly curled up on his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what are you in for?" He asked Louis cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know..." Louis said looking around, "I've been here for over two weeks and they're still testing, but I can't go home because I'm too sick."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh..." Harry said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about you?" Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know either. I'm not even sure how long I've been here." Harry said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he spoke he felt tears start to build up in his eyes. He let out a quiet sniffle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey... what's wrong?" Louis asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry. I just... I..." Stuttered Harry, wiping away tears with the back of his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really don't like it here..." Louis finished carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded slightly and let out another quiet sob. Louis slowly got up out of his bed and walked over to Harry. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed. When he did Harry shuffled over to give room and Louis lay down on the bed facing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay…” Louis soothed.  “Don’t think about it.  Let’s talk about something else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” Harry asked with tears still falling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do you plan to be in 15 years?” Louis asked,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two spent the rest of the night talking and laughing together.  Harry still had tears falling but at least now they were a lot happier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before the two had fallen asleep in the bed together; holding each other’s hands tightly.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The Styles Guide To Being Beautiful [PART ONE]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is part of a multi-chapter story line.  I would have released this as a separate story, however, I decided I wanted to post it on here as I'm unsure as to how often I'll be able to update it and each chapter will make sense on its own.</p><p>Harry Styles opens up about his eating disorder in a series of live streams titled, "The Styles Guide To Being Beautiful".  <br/>In the first video Harry talks about his diagnoses and what each of them actually are.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphia, crying, upset, hurt and comfort</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Styles Guide To Being Beautiful</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>PART ONE</strong>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey everyone! Welcome to my live stream! I hope you’re all having a wonderful day.  If you didn’t know my name is Harry Harry Styles and I… well… I promised myself I wouldn’t get too emotional saying this” He laughs to himself quietly.  He moves to wipe his eyes and take a deep breath before continuing to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My name is Harry Styles and I’m anorexic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was officially diagnosed just short of two years ago and I’ve been in recovery for just eight months.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now I know what you're thinking… What was I doing for those sixteen months in between being diagnosed and starting recovery… well… I was in denial.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I was also on tour with my closest friends in the entire world…” he sighs, “there simply wasn’t time to get better and if I’m honest… even if there was time, I didn’t want to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry lets out a heavy breath and looks away from the camera.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks back sighing again before taking a sip of water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So this is the beginning of a video series I’m doing.  About my… well… my illness… my anorexia… hopefully this will help others who are struggling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sipped his water again before starting to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In this series I’m going to talk to you about my illness.  Telling you about my experience with it.” Harry began, “I was going to start by telling you about my personal experience but I… I don’t think I’m ready for that…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry sipped his water again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, instead I’m going to just tell you my diagnosis and a bit about each thing.” He said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked away from the camera again taking a few deep shaky breaths and another sip of water.  He carefully ran his hand through his hair with trembling hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I have multiple diagnoses.  There’s anorexia nervosa, body dysmorphia, bulimia nervosa.”  He spoke slowly trying not to mess up the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reading out my diagnosis like this is hard for me.  Just being able to say I have anorexia, bulimia and body dysmorphia is a huge thing for me and that’s why I’ve chosen not to get too into personal details in this live stream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I got diagnosed with anorexia two years ago, as I said.” He began, “But, I got diagnosed with body dysmorphia when I was sixteen.” He quickly added, “If you don’t know I’m twenty now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was a few months after One Direction got together as a band.  It was Liam that called me out on it but as I said, I'm not really ready to go into detail on that and I’ll talk about all of that in more detail another time.” He brushed it off quickly.  “So that was two years before I was officially diagnosed with anorexia.  Then I was diagnosed with bulimia about six months after my anorexia diagnosis.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took another quick sip of water and ran his hand through his hair again.  His hands were still lightly trembling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, those of you who don’t know.  Here’s a little info on each of my diagnoses.  Number one is body dysmorphia.  Body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder, BDD is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance.  For me in particular, I tend to see myself as considerably larger than I am and it’s a… it’s a real struggle.” He let out another breath, “No matter how many times people tell me I’m good looking or handsome, or when doctors tell me I’m a healthy weight or underweight, all I can see is an overweight male with too much fat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took a sip of water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Number two is anorexia.  Anorexia nervosa.  The term anorexia literally means ‘loss of appetite’ however, it’s more than that.  I mean, most anorexics are hungry but refuse food anyway as they have an intense fear of becoming fat and see themselves as overweight even when they’re very thin.” He briefly looked away from the camera before looking back, “That’s why most anorexic people have body dysmorphia as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally there's bulimia.  Bulimia is an eating disorder and mental health condition.  People with it try and control their weight by severely restricting the amount of food they eat.  Then they binge eat, over eat, and purge the food from their bodies by... By uh," He pulls a face, looking uncomfortable before continuing slightly quieter, "By making themselves v...vom... making them selves sick or using laxatives.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry took another sip of his water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I.  Louis will be home soon so I should wrap this up.  I know this hasn’t been that long for a live stream but I… uh… for me this was a lot.” He looked away from the camera again briefly, “It’s a difficult topic for me to discuss but I’m trying and I hope you can appreciate it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I love you all so much.  Thank you for watching.  Goodnight.” He signed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pressing the stop stream button on his laptop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as it was over he let out a heavy, shaky sigh, closing the lid of his laptop curling himself into a ball on the sofa.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door to the flat opened but Harry couldn’t bring himself to look up at the man that’d just walked in.  He knew it was Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey H.” He called as he put his bag down, not realising that Harry was in the same room as him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hung his scarf up on the hook with his coat before walking into the living room to see Harry on the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry love, are you okay?” He asked, slipping onto the sofa next to Harry, carefully pulling the young boy onto his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t respond.  He just lay there silent, letting Louis hold him and comfort him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis knew when Harry decided to come forward about his problem it would be hard on him but he knew that what Harry needed right now was support and comfort.  Support and comfort he wishes Harry had been given so much sooner.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Styles Guide To Being Beautiful NEWS!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey everyone!<br/>I know I said it wasn't going to make 'The Styles Guide To Being Beautiful' it's own story but I changed my mind!<br/>You can find the work using this link!<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25204516/chapters/61088359">https://archiveofourown.org/works/25204516/chapters/61088359</a></p><p>Thank you all so so much for reading!<br/>Love and kindness to all!<br/>-H</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. The Final Message</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry sent the final message, the message that would start the events of the evening.</p><p>Harry sends his boyfriend a final text message to give him a chance to sort out their relationship.  Will he show up or will Harry be left alone in the cold?</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>Sadness, crying, punching, hinted depression</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As he sat down he pulled out his phone out of his back pocket, quickly unlocking it and pulling up a contact that he knew would be deleted within the hour.</p><p>He carefully typed out one final message.  A message that would start the events of that evening.  The message was clear and simple, yet it conveyed all of the untold emotion of the last few weeks.</p><p>It read: <em>"I'm here.  It's your last chance.  After this, I'm done." </em></p><p>After hastily hitting send, he pushed the phone back into his pocket knowing he'd done all he could.  It was now completely out of his hands and all he could do is wait.  Counting down the minutes, the whole time wondering if his efforts would prove fruitless.</p><p>From the bench where he was sat he looked to the sky.  It was pale blue, dusted with white fluffy clouds.  It all seemed so calm, however, off in the distance there were smoky grey, angry looking clouds.  They were steadily advancing, contaminating the serene blue sky.</p><p>While he sat there he thought back to what his English teacher would say about the clouds.  She'd say they represented the 'oncoming storm'.  But at this time he was unsure as to whether the storm would be him actually arriving and things going badly, or the storm of emotions that would be unleashed when he doesn't show up.</p><p>For now, however, all he could do was wait.  Knowing full well he'd made the correct decision and had done all he could.</p><p>Who knows how long he'd been sat there when his phone rang.  He jumped at the thought of him calling but he soon realised it wasn't who he thought.</p><p>It was Louis... It was always Louis.</p><p>"Harry?" Asked Louis when Harry put the phone to his ear, "H, sweetie? You there?"<br/>Harry tried to talk back but all that came out was a heart breaking sob as pent up tears tumbled from his eyes.</p><p>"Harry, love? What's wrong?" Concern flooded Louis' voice at the sounds of the younger lads sobs.</p><p>"He... he didn't come... L...Lou... He... I... what's wrong with me..." Harry stuttered and sobbed, "W... whats... whats wrong with m...." He choked on the last word.</p><p>"H, Harry, sweetie, love." Louis tried, "Where are you? I'm coming to get you." Louis instructed,</p><p>"T...the p..p..park." Harry sobbed, more tears falling.</p><p>"Okay, okay. I'm coming. I'm in the car.  I'll be there in ten."  Louis ended the call as he pulled off the drive.</p><p>He didn't care if he broke the speed limit, he had to get to Harry.  Harry needed him.</p><p>He arrived to see Harry sat on the bench.  As Harry saw the car he stood up and approached.</p><p>Louis threw the car in park, running over to the younger boy, tightly wrapping his arms around him and holding him close as the younger boy bawled.</p><p>"Come on, it's okay." Soothed Louis, "Let's get you in the car and I'll get you home."</p><p>Louis had just gotten Harry in the car when he heard someone calling his name.</p><p>He turned to see a boy approaching across the field.</p><p>"Harry!" He called, "Harry wait!"<br/>Louis instructed Harry to wait in the car as he closed the door.  Walking up to the advancing boy.</p><p>"Where are you taking him?" Yelled the boy, "How dare you touch my boyfr...."<br/>Louis cut the boy off.</p><p>"What the fuck is your problem?!" Louis yelled, "You've messed Harry around enough, you need to leave."<br/>"No! He invited me here!" Yelled the boy, "I'm not leaving until I've seen Harry."<br/>"Well Harry doesn't want to see you!" Louis responded,</p><p>"Look, get that slut out of the car befor..." Louis cut him off with a quick and hard punch to the nose.<br/>"You ever come near Harry again, I will end you!" Louis said through gritted teeth before walking away leaving the boy on the floor with a bloody nose.</p><p>Louis entered his car to see Harry was in such a state he hadn't even seen the boy approaching.</p><p>"L...lou... why is there b...blood on your hand?" Asked Harry concerned,</p><p>"It's nothing H.  Now, lets get some food from the drive through and go home."<br/>Louis pulled off quickly allowing Harry to put on what ever music he wanted.</p><p>Louis knew he'd be okay.  It would just take some love, care and time.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. The Dentist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Harry visits the dentist for the first time in years.</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNINGS !<br/>panic attacks, fear of dentists, vomiting, crying</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry had a life that was pretty busy. He was constantly on tour or in the studio or on the tour bus.  Because of this he’d been known to let himself go a little.  Not to the point where he didn’t look presentable but he’d let his mental health slip and miss meals and miss appointments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally after a long few weeks Harry was due to go to the dentist. Although he wasn’t feeling any pain and wasn’t having any problems, he knew it was time to get a basic check up. So there he was, sitting in the dentist waiting room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mr Styles?" Called the woman,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's Harry." He said smiling as he got out of his seat in the waiting room and headed into the dentist room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi, Harry. Take a seat," The dentist said with a smile, "So you're here for a basic check-up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sat down in the chair. Trying to get comfy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay. I'm just going to put the chair back now" She said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the chair started going back Harry took a sudden deep breath and started to grip the sides of the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, so let's get started. Can you open your mouth as wide as you can please?" She said as she started to gather the instruments that were needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached towards his mouth. As this happened time started to slow down. Harry noticed the lights dim slightly as his focus went to the silver probe slowly travelling towards him. It looked sharp and daunting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt his chest tighten, because of this he unconsciously tightened his grip on the chair. He blinked two, maybe three times in a second as the instrument continued coming towards him. The lighting dimmed yet again and his focus switched to the small circular tool held in the other hand. He tried to focus on that because it was less daunting but he couldn't help but switch his focus back to the probe. He felt his chest tighten again. As this happened time sped up back to normal and he noticed the dentist pull away slowly and start putting the tools down. She was looking at him, mouthing something. She looked over to the dental assistant who also mouthed something but he didn't know what they were saying. He felt a drop of sweat trickle down his forehead. Suddenly everything slowed down again as he felt more sweat gathering on his forehead. Then he felt the chair start to move. As it moved he tried to take a deep breath but he couldn't. He felt like his chest was made of lead. His lungs were heavy. His eyes dimmed once again as he found it harder to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next thing he knew the dentist was crouched down by the chair with her hand on his knee, trying to get his attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't breathe..." He said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry... Harry...." She called out gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm going to go to the desk and see if there's someone we can call for him." Said the assistant as she left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry..." She snapped her fingers gently. After doing so Harry's eyes suddenly looked at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You need to breathe." Said the dentist before the dental assistant walked back into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We called his boyfriend but he couldn't get away from work and so his friend Liam is on his way," She said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Liam ran into the room Harry was sitting in the chair still and the dentist was sitting next to him rubbing his back gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh H... Are you okay?" Asked Liam, coming closer. Harry just looked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... Is it okay if I say no?" Replied Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay," Replied Liam before noticing Harry was shaking. Liam took off his hoodie and pulled it over Harry's head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's go home okay?" Said Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded before Liam helped him up and started to walk towards the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Said Liam quietly to the dentist,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No problem" She replied with a smile, "I hope he's okay soon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Liam helped Harry out of the dentist office, through the reception and into his car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were in the car Liam didn't pull out, instead he locked the doors and turned to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened in there Harry?" Asked Liam gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched Harry's reaction carefully. He watched Harry as he nervously fiddled with his hands in the pockets of Liam's hoodie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry, I can't help you unless you talk to me." Continued Liam, trying to get Harry to open up. "So please Harry. What happened in there?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanna go home." Said Harry quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know." Said Liam putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. He noticed Harry was crying. "Hey, it's okay".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry turned out of Liam's grasp, he drew his legs up onto the seat and put his head against the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry?" Asked Liam, hopeful that he would open up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please, I wanna go home." Was Harry's response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam turned on the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car ride was silent. When they got to Harry's, Liam pulled into a parking space slowly before he stopped the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry we're here." Said Liam turning to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn't react; he just went to open the car door but his hands were too shaky. He just couldn't get the grip he needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay." Said Liam, getting up out of the car and walking around to the other side of the car to let Harry out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slowly got up and tried to take a step but it was hard for him to stand on his shaky legs, let alone walk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here Harry, let me help you," Said Liam, placing his arm around Harry to help support him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine." Mumbled Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry. Please just let me help you." Said Liam patiently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn't respond, he just let Liam help him. They only got so far before Harry tripped almost making Liam fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," Said Harry as Liam helped him into the building."I'm so sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes continued watering, as he continued to apologise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay Harry..." Said Liam, "It's okay, really".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam walked with Harry into the reception of the apartment block. They made their way slowly to the lift and pressed the button. Once it arrived the stepped in letting the doors slide closed. When the door closed Liam saw Harry flinch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You okay Harry?" Asked Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah." Replied Harry carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry?" Asked Liam sceptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just. I'm fine" Said Harry,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Talk to me, Harry?" Asked Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I usually... I... I never... " Replied Harry. His breath catching in his throat. He’d paled significantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay Harry..." Said Liam stepping forward and putting a hand on Harry's back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the lift opened Harry didn't move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry... Come on..." Said Liam gently walking Harry out of the lift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they got out of the lift Harry got paler, before he started getting a slight green tinge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Li... Li.... Liam!" Called Harry, suddenly stopping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam turned and saw Harry. It was like he read Harry's mind as he suddenly grabbed the bin in the corridor and held it in front of Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tightly gripped the sides of the bin and completely emptied the contents of his stomach into it as Liam kept repeating phrases like "it's okay, you're okay. I'm right here. It's okay Harry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had tears falling from his eyes as he continued to empty his stomach. Liam started rubbing his back, trying to comfort him as much as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Harry had finished, he was completely drained. He stood, leaning on Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay. Come on Harry." Said Liam started to help Harry to walk to his apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they got into the apartment Liam helped Harry over to the sofa, where he sat down while Liam went to get him a glass of water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here," He said gently as he passed Harry the glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harry didn't move Liam worried slightly. After another two minutes, Harry still hadn't brought the glass to his lips, Liam decided to take more of a parental role.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You need to drink the water, Harry." Said Liam sternly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry still didn't move, he just looked down. It took him a few seconds to notice but Harry was crying. Tears were rolling down his cheeks like a river. Liam moved to sit next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry..." He said comfortingly, taking the glass away from him for the time being and set it down on the coffee table, "Please talk to me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry still didn't answer, he just put his head in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry you need to talk to someone.." Said Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry ran his hands through his hair and then went back into the position he was in previously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want Louis..." Said Harry quietly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want me to call him?" Asked Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just nodded sullenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay." Replied Liam, walking over to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his phone and dialled Louis's number quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello?" Answered Louis gruffly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi, Louis it's Liam,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look I can't stay, can I call you back later?" Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's about Harry!" Said Liam quickly before Louis could hang up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong?" Asked Louis, concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He had a dentist appointment this morning, but they called me to come and get him. He won't tell me why. So I brought him home and he threw up. He's crying for the third time in the past hour and he won't tell me anything." Explained Liam, "He just told me he wanted you and so I said I'd call."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh. I'm in the studio right now with Niall. Can you put him on the phone please?" Asked Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam went to pass Harry the phone but his hands were too shaky to hold it and so instead Liam put the phone on loudspeaker and placed it on the table, heading back to the kitchen to give them some privacy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Harry." Said Louis gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lou?" Asked Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis could hear that Harry had been crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's me... What's wrong Harry?" Replied Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis heard Harry let out a heartbreaking sob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please.... come home..." Sobbed Harry through the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry..." Started Louis gently,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please..." Cried, Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis knew Niall wouldn’t mind rescheduling and at this point he didn’t care what management thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm on my way." Said Louis, "Can you put Liam back on please?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam came back in and picked the phone up from the table, putting off the loudspeaker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey?" Asked Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm leaving work now, I'll be home in 10".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam slid his phone into his pocket before turning to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked a little green but he didn't seem to be sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam sat next to him for what only seemed like five minutes when Louis entered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey," Said Louis gently,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam looked up, towards Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi." He replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis walked over to Harry to see that his head was in his hands and he was staring at the floor. Louis crouched down in front of him and gently placed a hand on Harry's knee and rubbed circles soothingly. He took note that Harry's complexion was slightly green and his eyes were glassy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry are you okay?" Asked Louis, concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry lightly shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He looks like he's going to be sick," Said Liam gently. He quickly got the bin from the corner of the room and handed it to Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis gently placed it in front of Harry. Harry shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harry, it would be easier if you just let it out." Said Louis gently moving his hand to rub his shoulder lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just shook his head lightly again. "It will make you feel better."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry protested further but he didn't last much longer. He threw himself forward over the bucket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis shuffled to sit next to Harry still holding the bin. He was now able to put his arm around Harry and comfort him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Louis was sure Harry was finished he placed the bin on the floor and pulled Harry close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay now?" Asked Louis gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just nodded gently against Louis, his tears were still soaking into his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey man. I'm going to go home now since you're in good care. Bye Harry." Said Liam leaving quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay.." Muttered Louis running his hand through Harry's hair soothingly. "You're okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough Harry's breathing evened out and Louis realised that Harry had fallen asleep in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully lifted him and carried him to the bedroom, placing him on the bed gently before climbing in behind him and holding him close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them slept peacefully because as long as they were together they knew nothing could hurt either of them.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Can you tell me your name please?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Can you tell me your name please?”</p><p>“David… David Jones.”</p><p>“Okay… ‘David’. Can you tell me why you’re here please?”</p><p>“I’m not supposed to be here.”<br/>“Okay, but why do you think you’re here?”</p><p>“Because Jenn and Craig can’t leave me alone.”</p><p>“Okay… This will be easier if you tell me the truth. Let’s start again. Can you tell me your name please?”</p><p>! TRIGGER WARNING !<br/>self harm, attempted suicide, pain, upset, lack of eating, depression</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Can you tell me your name please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David… David Jones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… ‘David’. Can you tell me why you’re here please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not supposed to be here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but why do you think you’re here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because of Louis, Liam, all of them.  They just won’t leave me alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… This will be easier if you tell me the truth. Let’s start again.  Can you tell me your name please?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was little light shining through the windows when Louis came in. It must have been what… two, three in the morning?  Louis just stood in the doorway, looking into the room.  Watching the young boy sit on the end of the bed looking out of the window.  Unlike Louis who was in plaid pyjama bottoms and a black v-neck t, the boy was fully dressed, shoes and all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy was oblivious to Louis watching and Louis was sure not to disturb him.  After what easily could have been an hour Louis left and went back to his own room.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Why ask if you clearly already know my name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it will help if you open up and by telling me your name it’s getting you to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what’s the point? Look there’s nothing wrong with me, I shouldn’t be here so can’t you just let me go home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know it doesn’t work like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn were sitting at the table eating breakfast when he came downstairs.  He was dressed the same way he was that night and it was clear by the bags under his eyes, how messy his hair was and how pale he was that he hadn’t slept at all that night. He’d just sat there, looking out of that window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just picked up his bag and left, ignoring the question “what about breakfast?” asked by Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been told you haven’t been eating properly?  Can you tell me about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been eating just fine.  Just because people don’t see me, doesn’t mean I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. You look pale and tired.  My guess is you haven’t been sleeping, can you tell me why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But why can’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I. Just. Can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have bad dreams? Do you not feel tired?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I DON’T KNOW! You tell me, aren’t you supposed to be the one telling me what’s wrong with me!?  ISN’T THAT WHY THEY SEND ME HERE WEEK AFTER WEEK!?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t help you unless you talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I DON’T WANT OR NEED YOUR HELP!  Whatever Louis keeps telling you is complete bull. I’M FINE.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to calm down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Don’t tell me what the fuck to do! YOU KNOW NOTHING AB… AB…. ABOUT M… M… ME!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I can’t breathe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Just take your time. One at a time, in and out.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>At exactly ten he got back on the tour bus. Liam called him into the living room.  Louis and Liam were sat on the sofa waiting for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to talk,” said Liam</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was greeted with a sigh in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, we’re very worried about you.  We’ve heard you having panic attacks in the night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bull.” He replied simply before walking out of the room and settling onto his bunk, closing the curtain behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, take your time, in and out… That’s good just like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… It h… it hurts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where does it hurt Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, stay right here, I’ll get you a glass of water.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Dinners ready!” Liam called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn, Niall and Louis sat at the table but Harry was nowhere to be seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry!?” He called but got no reply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go and get him.” Said Louis making his way to the bunks.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he saw Harry wasn’t there he tried the bathroom but what he found was something he could never un-see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was so much blood across the flood of the bathroom and stood in the middle of it was a pale shaking boy. Wrists slit with blood pouring.  The look of haunting in his eyes when he looked over at Louis was too much to bear. He was ignoring the pleads to just let him die from the young boy as he started applying pressure to the wounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ignored the cries as the ambulance took him away and he ignored the look of betrayal in his eyes when he signed the young boy into the mental facility.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Walking into his new room was terrifying. All the walls were white, there was a small window. There were no decorations, no real comforts. He sat down on his bed and just turned to the window. He started doing what he’d spent so many nights doing at home. Just staring out the window for who knows how long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Harry, I’m doctor Jones. I’m going to be your therapist while you’re here.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Anorexic Harry // Part One (request)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Request from Annie<br/>“Can you do one where Harry's really underweight and collapses from anorexia in front of Louis”</p><p>With the hiatus underway all of the boys are pushing forward and doing well but it appears some are doing better than others.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a request that I jumped at the chance to write!<br/>This is going to be in two parts as the story isn't finished and the word count for this part alone is 5,043 words so.... yeah! :)</p><p>I really hope you all like this!<br/>If you do please leave kudos and comments as I love talking to you guys!<br/>Also, add me on Insta @bohogreenwitch and DM me, say hi! :)<br/>All the love,<br/>- El xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry rolled over in bed.  He’d tried and long given up on the idea of sleeping as he just couldn’t get the images of the other boy’s out of his head.  He’d previously spent hours scrolling through Twitter and Instagram and Facebook looking at pictures of his former friends, his former band mates.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s scrolled through image after image after image of each boy, or should he say man, with their toned stomachs and tight abs.  He’d looked at thousands and thousands of photos showing their well sculpted, muscled legs.  He’d clicked on picture after picture of their defined jaw lines.  Time, it appears, had treated them all so well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was too bad the same could not be said for himself.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry moved so he was lying on his back and absentmindedly began running his hands along his own chest and stomach.  Imagining what it would be like to have the same chiselled abs and toned torso.  His fingers tapping and trailing on each individual rib.  He imagined what it would be like to be able to eat whatever he wanted without a second thought.  His hand made its way from the top of his rib cage, down each rib and across his concave stomach.  He imagined what it would be like to look in the mirror and see a slim, strong body looking back at him.  He let his fingers dance and draw pretty lines and swirling patterns all the way down his torso, stopping only to briefly cup his protruding hip bones.  He imagined what it would be like to look and feel good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you awake?” Called Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was quick to sit up.  Confusion clouded his hunger ridden, sleep deprived brain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Liam really there, if so, why?  He hadn’t seen Liam or any of the other boys in years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?” He called again,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stood up, hastily throwing on a long-sleeved sweater and sweats before opening his bedroom door to reveal both Liam and Niall stood in his living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… what are you doing here?” Asked Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to seem rude but it had been three years.  He wanted to know how they got in and, most importantly, what they were doing there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry,” Niall smiled brightly, “How long has it been?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry crossed his arms over his chest.  Partly because he was annoyed at the other man's avoidance of his question but also to try and conserve his body heat and hide the fact he was shivering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you here?” He asked again, a little more forcefully than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam stepped closer, a brief look of hurt flashing on his face before it disappeared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you remember, H?” He smiled, “We have a meeting with management today and it was arranged that I’d take you and Niall.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He spoke as if it were all so simple.  As if it hadn’t been three years of no contact.  As if everything was still the same.  But it wasn’t, it wasn’t the same and it never would be.  He hadn’t even arranged to drive with Niall and Liam.  He was going to drive himself but management wanted them to be seen together, to start some new gossip.  Ever since the hiatus started that's all Syco did.  Cheap, lame publicity stunts to start useless gossip that got no one any further in life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d completely forgotten about the meeting.  In all honesty, he’d never intended to go.  He was always going to phone in sick.  He didn’t even know why they were having a meeting in the first place.  It was completely pointless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, hurry up and get dressed!” Niall called, his smile never faltering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry allowed his shoulders to slump forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going,” He spoke slowly, his voice barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam walked closer to Harry.  Facial expression morphing into one of concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong Harry, are you okay?” Liam continued walking but stopped when Harry backed away, “Are you sick?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Y...y..yeah.” He replied, “I’m contagious so you guys should go so you don’t get sick.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>From Liam’s facial expression, you could tell he wasn’t sure whether to believe the younger man or not.  He was about to question it when Niall cut in, calling from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, where d’you keep your food? I want a snack!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Liam made sure to take note of the way Harry’s eyes widened slightly and his face paled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the kitchen.” Replied Harry, his tone sounding confused and unsure, “The cupboards and fridge and freezer and well… yeah.  The kitchen.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Niall stepped back into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, duh.  But there's like, no food in there?” Questioned Niall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.  I...I uh… I need to do a food shop but I’ve been ill, I mean, I am ill but I uh.  I’m going to get some rest.  I’ll see you two soon though, yeah?” Harry rambled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam was about to say something else but Harry had already retreated back to his room and locked the bedroom door, stopping the other boys from entering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as his bedroom door was locked Harry could feel the panic coming on.  He let himself slip down the door and curled into a fetal position on the floor.  Taking shaky breaths to try and soothe his mind.  He allowed himself to shrink into his oversized sweater as tears fell freely from his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know how long he’d been on the floor for but he only realised he’d fallen asleep when he woke up to the sound of his phone buzzing.  Usually, he was pretty good at ignoring his phone but he needed to know what time it was so it made sense to check it.  However, he quickly regretted that decision.  As soon as he saw the headline he felt fresh tears cloud his eyes and his heart rate pick up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No… no, no no…” He mumbled to himself over and over, “This, this isn’t, no…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He saw he had a missed call from management and knew he had to get to the bottom of the headline.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a shaky hand he hit the call back button.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ONE DIRECTION SET TO END FIVE YEAR HIATUS TWO YEARS EARLY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not three months later Harry was in black skinny jeans and an oversized, navy, Tommy Hilfiger jumper, with a suitcase in hand waiting to be picked up from his house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was only standing there for about five minutes when a black car pulled up and a man in a suit stepped out.  Wordlessly the man took his suitcase and piled it into the boot of the car before opening the door to allow Harry to get in.  The back of the car was quiet and empty but he knew as peaceful as it was in the car, things wouldn’t stay that way for long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t even realise he’d fallen asleep in the car until he felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake.  Bringing from the darkness in his mind.  He allowed his eyes to flutter open to see a familiar face before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Hazza?!” Louis smiled, overly enthusiastic, “Long time no see! How’ve you been, mate?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>All Harry could do was nod in response.  He was already overwhelmed and he’d only been there forty seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, we can catch up properly on the bus,” Louis smiled, ducking out of the car with Harry following slowly behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he stepped onto the bus so many memories came flooding back.  They had so many good times on that bus.  Times when they drank a little too much, times when they stayed in their pyjamas all day and watched films on long trips from country to country, times when they got overly excited and couldn't get away from constant fits of laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He subconsciously found himself wrapping his arms tight around his body.  Trying to make himself as small as possible so he took up the least amount of room possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry!” Smiled Liam and Niall who were both sat at the table on the bus, waiting for him to arrive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam stood up, “How’ve you been?  I know you’ve been ill a lot recently but you’re better now right?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry nodded slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m alright now,” He spoke quietly, but he sounded unsure.  It was if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good.” Smiled Niall, “I’m glad you’re better.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry nodded again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Harry tried to smile, “I’m going to unpack a little.  Which bunk is mine?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Same one as it used to be,” Replied Liam smiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry muttered his thanks before taking his suitcase to the area of the bus where the bunks were.  He made sure to close the door behind him.  As soon as he was alone he let out a deep shaky breath and harshly rubbed his eyes with his hands that were hidden in the sleeves of his sweater.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a minute just to breathe and focus his thoughts.  He could hear the boys chatter out in the kitchen and he just wished he could disappear.  He wished he could be anywhere but there.  He wished he could just be alone.  He took a final deep, shaky breath before lifting his suitcase and placing it into his storage cubby.  He quickly shut the cubby door and climbed into his bunk.  He didn’t even bother to unpack, he just didn’t care about his clothes getting wrinkled.  He just wanted to lie down and shut out the world for a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was exhausted, both physically and mentally.  The stress of the past few months was finally catching up to him.  The boys had tried to get them to meet up so they could all get to know one another again but Harry had always found an excuse not to go.  He just couldn’t bring himself to face any of the boys.  If he was completely honest he couldn’t bring himself to face anyone.  Especially when he could hardly walk ten feet without feeling weak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know how it had all gone so wrong so fast.  It all started with him swearing that he wasn’t going to let himself go just because they had a break.  He started exercising to make up for the fact he was no longer jumping around on stage night after night.  He also started eating a bit healthier but it was only small changes.  Nothing too extreme.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was until he saw pictures of Liam, Louis and Niall since the break.  They only seemed to be looking better, slimmer, more toned.  He found himself so put down by the changes that he found himself working harder to catch up with the development of the other lads.  But it was still fine, he was still fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cut to now.  He used to weigh 154 pounds but now he weighed a little more than 112.  He was weak and feeble and yet when he looked at himself all he was was fat dripping off every appendage.  He’d gone from eating three meals and snacking to eating only three meals to eating two meals to eating one meal to eating hardly half a meal a day.  But, he was still fine.  Really, he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Hazza!” Harry was startled out of his thoughts as Louis appeared by his bunk,  “Sorry we didn’t get to catch up earlier.  How’ve you been?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry rolled over to face Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been good.” He lied, “You?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Alright,” Louis smiled, “But I’ve missed this, you and the lads.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry just hummed in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you okay?” Louis questioned, cocking his head to the side in concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… Mh, just tired.” He muttered in response, his eyes briefly fluttering closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awh okay, you said yourself that you’ve been sick recently.  Maybe it still hasn’t completely passed,” Louis spoke gently, “Why don’t you get some sleep?  We’ll be pulling off soon but I’ll wake you when we stop for lunch.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Mh-kay…” Harry mumbled in response, already half asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleep well, Hazza,” Smiled Louis as he turned off the light in that section of the bus and went back into the kitchen area, where Niall and Liam were, closing the door behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry woke a few hours later to find the bus was no longer moving.  As he looked at the ceiling above him something was off about what he saw but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.  Slowly he moved his legs over the side of the bunk and he put his feet to the floor.  As he stood he saw black spots dance around his vision and although he knew the bus was stationery, it felt like the world was still moving around him.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carefully Harry made his way down the middle of the bus to the kitchen, heavily leaning on the wall for support as he went.  He walked through the door into the bright kitchen, still leaning on the wall.  In the brightness of the kitchen the black spots increased tenfold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, Harry…” Called Louis, concerned for how the younger man was acting, “You okay?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis made his way to stand in front of the other lad.  He took a good look at the boy to see his eyes were unfocused and he was heavily leaning on the wall of the bus.  He lifted his arms and placed them on Harry’s shoulders to steady him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?” He called, trying to get the boys attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mh...Mh dizzy…” Harry muttered, barely coherent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Okay…” Replied Louis, “Come on, take a seat.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis guided Harry so he was sitting down on one of the sofas.  He sat down next to the boy and quickly pushed Harry’s head in between his legs but the boy tried to fight back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no love…” Louis argued, “Head between your legs, it will help, I promise.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis placed a hand on Harry’s upper back and began to rub soothing circles to try and calm the boy.  He couldn’t help but take note of how prominent his spine felt through his thick jumper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes Harry began to sit up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Easy does it,” Louis soothed, moving his hand to help Harry sit up, “I’ll get you some water.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis got up and opened the fridge before pulling out a bottle of water.  He carefully opened it before handing it to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here you go, small sips.” He commanded, gently.  “How are you feeling now?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry took a few sips before taking a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay.” He replied, clearly a little shaken up from the experience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis sat down next to Harry again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any idea what happened, love?” Louis asked, concerned, “Is everything okay?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry nodded slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m okay…” He took another deep breath, “I guess… I mean... I’ve been ill recently and I guess I’m still getting it out of my system… I must not quite be one hundred percent yet… yeah… that must be it but I’m fine… I’m okay.” Harry lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He surprised himself at the ease of which the lie came to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awh babe,” Louis cooed, sympathetically, “I’ll get the thermometer to check if you have a fever.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry’s eyes widened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” He almost shouted, “I mean, no.  I’m okay really, I just… I’m fine.  I just need to rest.  I’ll be fine soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis didn’t look convinced but he could see from the look in Harry’s eyes that, although he’d slept most of the morning, the man was exhausted.  He didn’t have the heart to press Harry on the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you get comfortable on the sofa at the back of the bus and I’ll make us a cuppa and we can watch some TV?” Louis suggested, trying to think of a way he could observe the boy without being too obvious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...okay, but I… I don’t want tea.” Harry mumbled,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was about to stand up but stopped himself out of shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?  Since when does Harry Styles not jump at the chance of having a good cuppa?”  He looked at the younger, incredulous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was quick to think of a reply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I stopped drinking tea.  I haven’t had a cuppa in… god… maybe a year?” Harry lied smoothly, “Kept me up at night.  Same with coffee.  I think it was the caffeine.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis nodded slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay then.” Louis gave Harry a small smile and Harry returned it, grateful that the boy had taken his excuse so easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly Harry stood and began to walk to the back of the bus.  Shuffling and dragging his feet all the way down the length of the bus before allowing himself to collapse onto the sofa and curl up into a ball.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was off in his own world of darkness and self pity when he felt the sofa dip next to him.  He didn’t even open his eyes to look at who it was, he knew it was Louis.  He just wished he could be left alone, he just wanted time to himself.  He’d spent the past three years alone but after half a day on a bus with others he just wished to be alone again.  He hadn’t even been around the boys, he’d been sleeping, and still he craved the complete and total isolation of his apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt Louis’ hand make its way into his curls and begin to play with them.  He slowly tried to sit up, to get away from Louis.  He couldn’t have Louis playing with his hair.  It was too normal, too similar to how it used to be. Not to mention the fact that his hair has been coming out in clumps lately.  He couldn’t have Louis seeing it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed himself away from Louis and sat up against the back of the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay Haz?” Asked Louis,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah.  Just getting comfortable.” He muttered as he curled up, further away from Louis this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so today we have a photo shoot followed by an interview with James Corden,” Smiled Liam as the four boys piled into the car set to take them to the shoot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry had woken that morning and had taken longer than usual to get out of bed.  There were black dots dancing along his vision as he stood and began getting dressed.  He downed a whole glass of water to try and get rid of the dots.  He knew that in reality there was only one way to really solve the problem but he just wasn’t going to do that.  Luckily for him, because he took so long getting ready, there was no time for breakfast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were only in the car for fifteen minutes when they pulled up at the venue.  It was just a basic warehouse.  From the outside it just looked like any other warehouse.  However, the inside was completely decked out with a white screen and props.  There was a makeup stand to the right and people walking around with clipboards, setting up lighting and making sure everything was in place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Boys!” Called Andrew, the photographer, as they entered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Drew!” Smiled Liam, “It’s been a while.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Liam and Drew shook hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.  It’s an honour to shoot your come back!” He smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Drew shook Niall and then Louis’ hand.  When he came to Harry he reached out and took his hand.  However, he froze briefly as he came into contact with the other boy.  Drew was quick to unfreeze and continue moving.  As he held the boys hand he took note of how cold the boy was and how bony his hands were.  As he pulled away he took in Harry’s features.  His pale skin, his cracked lips, the dark circles under his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so Karen, over there,” Drew pointed to a woman who smiled and waved to them, “Has your clothes ready so if you go and see her and get changed and then Lou will do your make up.” He pointed to a different woman, “Once you’re all ready I’ll talk you through the shots we need today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They four boys smiled before they headed over to Karen where they were each handed various hangers and sent on their way to the dressing rooms.  Harry stepped into the room with his name on the door before closing and locking the door behind him.  He let out a shaky breath and hung the hangers on a hook on the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stripped slowly down to his boxers.  Folding his black sweats and jumper and placing them on the chair in the corner.  He made slow, purposeful movements in order to try and ease the dizziness that was slowly clouding his brain.  He knew he could get through the photo shoot if he tried.  He’d just have to take it easy wherever he could without the others noticing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as he was in only his boxers he finally took notice of the clothes he was given.  There was a pair of skinny jeans, true to his old One Direction style.  However, instead of them being just plain black with an intricate, purple, floral design all over them.  As he looked at them he found himself falling in love with them.  It had been a long time since he’d actually cared about what he was wearing so it really excited him.  He knew he’d have to ask Karen if he could take them.  Or so, he intended to until he saw the size.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt the panic rising in his throat.  Twenty-fifteen Harry would have seen the size and laughed knowing it would be about two sizes too small.  However, twenty-eighteen Harry knew the jeans were going to be too big.  Like, four to five sizes too big.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was still a voice in the back of his mind telling him that there was no way his fat thighs would fit in those jeans but the rational part of his mind knew there was no way those jeans would stay up.  They would be significantly too big.  He looked at the top, a simple black button down, and wondered if there was any way he could hide the fact that the jeans didn’t fit but there was no way.  With a shaky hand he looked at the label in the shirt, just to see, and he felt the panic increase ten fold.  The shirt was way too big for him and the label said ‘Slim Fit’.  He knew there was no way he could pull this off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was quickly pulled out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Harry, ya almost ready?” Called Louis, “You’ve been in there a while and the other lads are ready.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit… was all Harry could think.  What could he do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry?”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry made a quick decision and began to pull on the jeans Karen had given him.  Just as he thought they were stupidly big on him.  Even if he was given a belt they still wouldn’t fit.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry, everything okay?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I...I um…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Harry?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Fuck… fuck… fuck… kept running through Harry’s mind.  There was no way.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry?” Louis knocked the door again.  Concern was thick in his voice.  “Harry, let me in, you’re really starting to worry me.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The more Harry panicked the worse the dizziness got and the more the dark spots taunted his mind.  He sucked in a deep shaky breath and placed a hand on the wall to steady him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Lou…” He replied, surprised at how steady he was able to keep his voice, “I, can you get Karen please?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah but is everything alright?” Concern was still clear in his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y...yeah, just a… a uh an outfit problem.” Harry explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh okay.  Just give me a minute.” Was all Louis said and then Harry was alone again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry let out another breath, allowing himself to slide to the floor.  Thoughts running through his head about what Karen was going to say.  Would she be able to help?  Would she be angry?  Before his thoughts could go any further, there was a knock on the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Harry, it’s Karen.  Can you let me in please?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Slowly Harry stood and unlocked the door before stepping away, allowing Karen to enter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she entered she closed the door behind her and locked it again.  At first she was confused, however, once she saw Harry standing with his back to her, she knew.  Without thinking she stepped forward and placed a hand on Harry’s back, feeling the way his spine stuck out against her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Harry…” She sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he turned to her he had clear tears in his eyes.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come here,” She held her arms out and pulled him into a hug, just allowing him to get his tears out.  “It’s okay.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m s...sorry I...I love them b..but t...they don’t fit and I...I don’t… what to do… and I...I’m sorry” He stuttered, his voice weak and shaky.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karen nodded as she stepped away from Harry slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, it’s okay.” She knew she had to put on a professional face right now, “Here’s what we’re going to do.  Wear the jeans you wore in today and I’ll get you a different shirt, okay?” She smiled as Harry nodded in response.  “Then, I’ll get these altered for you since I can tell you like them.  Then, maybe you can wear them for the interview later?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry nodded slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so you get ready and I’ll get you a shirt but before that,” She sighed gently, “Are you okay?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry nodded, “Y...yeah I’m fine.” He quickly went into defensive mode, “I...I’ve been really busy and then I was ill and it just, it all went down hill but I’m okay, I’ve got things under control.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Slowly Karen nodded.  She wasn’t sure whether she believed him but he lives on a tour bus in close quarters with three other boys so she just assumed they knew and it was okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watched Harry remove the jeans and then took them along with the other shirt before unlocking the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I’ll get you that shirt.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>She smiled before leaving him alone once again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Five minutes later Harry, Niall, Liam and Louis were standing on the set getting their photos taken.  Liam was standing on a black cube and Niall was standing just in front of it looking at him.  Louis was lying on a platform and Harry was walking up some steps to the platform.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrew was shouting to each of the boys, getting them to move around as the shots were taken.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay now Harry!” He called, “Why don’t you run up the steps, that would look cool!” </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry did as asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Yes!” He called,  “Okay now Niall, Liam, join Harry and Louis on the platform.  Okay!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boys complied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay now, run from the back of the platform and jump off!” He called.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry could feel the panic rise once again.  He was dizzy enough as it was.  Now he had to jump off a five foot platform!?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were only a few minutes left.  The shoot was almost over.  He could do it.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Okay…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry made his way to the back with the rest of the boys…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He looked to the other lads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath to try and calm the dancing black dots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He looked to the front and prepared himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He ran forward along with the other guys and jumped… As he flew through the air he felt the black dots briefly leave him… He felt the cool air rush past him…  He felt the adrenaline push him through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay boys!” Andrew called, “That’s a wrap!  Well done guys, get some water and get yourselves changed!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Andrew smiled as he began to take apart his camera set up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly Harry stood up from where he was on the floor and began to walk over to his dressing room.  Now that the adrenaline was gone the black dots and dizziness were back ten fold.  He needed to get to the dressing room so he could close the door and sit with his head between his legs and calm down.  </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He saw Louis watch as he shuffled away but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  He just needed the dizziness to stop.  He knew what was happening but it was still terrifying.  He got to the door and quickly pushed it open before closing the door behind him and sliding to the floor.  He put his head between his legs and took slow deep breaths as he tried to rid himself of the black spots.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay… it’s okay…” He muttered to himself as he tried to calm down.  “You’re okay… you’re okay…”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had taken a good half an hour for Harry to calm down and get changed into his other clothes but eventually he gained the strength to leave the room and head back to the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the car ride went on he felt worse and worse.  The black spots kept taunting his mind, begging him to to succumb to them.  However, he couldn’t.  He needed to stay awake.  He needed to get through the interview.  He needed to get through the day so he could sleep.  Harry was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even realised the car had stopped.  It was a light shove from Liam that alerted him to their arrival at the studio.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry had a bad feeling as he got out of the car… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he walked through the car park…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he entered the studio…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he changed into his clothes for the interview…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he waited backstage…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladies and gentlemen!  Please welcome the boys known as One Direction!” James called enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The four boys ran out... The stage lights hit…  The audience was deafening… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The black dots grew to a solid darkness and the last thing Harry remembered was the cry from someone.... Someone he loved… Someone who cared…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry…!” Cried Louis as he watched the youngest fall to the floor a few feet away from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The audience became silent… James quickly stood in shock… Liam and Niall froze in horror…</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Anorexic Harry // Part Two (request)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know this part is rather short but I didn't really want to go into Harry's recovery as I'm already working on a fiction that goes into detail on Harry having anorexia and recovering and I didn't want them to be too similar.  I think it came to quite a decent natural conclusion.  If you really want I can do a part three, just let me know if you're interested in it.</p><p>I hope you call like this! If you do please leave kudos and comments!  Also add me on Instagram @bohogreenwitch and say hi as I love talking to all of you!<br/>Please send requests if you have any as I love to hear your ideas.<br/>All the love,<br/>- El xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>The four boys ran out... The stage lights hit…  The audience was deafening… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The black dots grew to a solid darkness and the last thing Harry remembered was the cry from someone.... Someone he loved… Someone who cared…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry…!” Cried Louis as he watched the youngest fall to the floor a few feet away from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The audience became silent… James quickly stood in shock… Liam and Niall froze in horror.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Medic!” Called James, heading over to Harry, “We need a medic!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis’ shock quickly morphed into concern as he ran to Harry’s side and crouched by his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He watched as the boy’s eyes fluttered lightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay Harry.  I’m right here and help is on the way.” Louis soothed,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmh…” Harry groaned as he rolled, weakly, onto his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes now open all the way but straining against the stage lights.  Louis was quick to notice this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“James!” Called Louis, “Can you dim the lights, I think they’re hurting his head.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James was quick to jog off stage and ask the crew to turn down the lights.  Louis watched Harry relax as the lights dimmed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Is that better?” Asked Louis gently, never once taking his eyes off the green eyes boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Liam, Niall and James had now moved so they were all standing behind Louis, watching their friend lying on the floor.  All four boys were quick to react when Harry began to push himself up.  Louis placed a hand on his chest, gently trying to push him back down.  Liam and Niall ran to each side of him to try and soothe him.  As Louis lay his hand on the boy's chest he could feel every rib under his hand and that concerned him greatly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, love.” Called Louis, “You need to stay down.  The medic is on their way.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“N..no… I’m, I’m fine.  I don’t need a medic.” Harry pushed Louis’ hand off and forced himself into a sitting position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay...okay…” Louis said, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to keep Harry down, “But, take it easy, yeah.  And you have to see a medic, love.  You collapsed.  You need to be checked over.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N..no.  I’m fine.  It’s fine.” Harry was quick to push himself to standing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Louis made sure to follow his actions in case anything happened.  It was a good thing too, as, as soon as Harry took a step his legs gave out and he fell into Louis’ grip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, you’re okay,” Louis soothed, steading the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get him to the dressing rooms, it’s more private,” Said Liam as he made his way to Harry’s side, slipping his arm around Harry’s waist on one side as Louis did the same on the other.  They slowly hobbled backstage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you can lean on us, it’s okay,” Louis soothed, as the boy was too light for that to be his weight.  However, he looked to Harry’s feet briefly to see that his feet were dragging on the floor.  The boy was stupidly light.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They made quick work of getting the boy on the sofa in the green room and James ran in not long after with a medic following behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Harry, I’m Luke.” The medic introduced himself as he crouched in front of the man, “So, I’ve been told you had a fainting spell.  Can you tell me what happened?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I… I uh… I was walking out on stage and I felt dizzy and there were black spots.  T...then I was on the floor… Louis was looking down at me…” Harry explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that it?” Luke asked and Harry nodded, “Okay Harry, can you take your jumper off for me please?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry’s eyes widened.  Karen had seen him shirtless, sure, but he couldn’t let the other boys see.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I...I...um…” Stuttered Harry,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on guys.  Let's step out.  Give Harry and the medic their space.” Instructed Louis, sensing that Harry was uncomfortable with all of them watching.  As much as he wanted to stay he knew it would be the best if he left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boys all left the room leaving just Harry and Luke in the room.  Once the door was closed Harry slowly pulled the jumper over his head.  Once off, he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look on Luke’s face.  Luke instantly knew the problem when he saw the other boy shirtless.  When he saw the way his ribs stuck out and stretched his skin.  How pale he was.  The boy was clearly significantly underweight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay Harry, I’m just going to check your heart.” Explained Luke as he held the stethoscope to various places on Harry’s chest and back.  “Okay…” He muttered, placing a blood pressure cuff on his arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” He noted down the numbers.  “Right, Harry, is there anything I should know, medical history, allergies, any medications?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry looked down at his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I uh, I…” Stuttered Harry, “I’ve been prescribed antidepressants but I haven’t taken them in a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Luke nodded, “Anything else?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I have anti-anxiety medication.” Harry said, still not looking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay, do you take them like you're supposed to?” Asked Luke gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry just shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, anything else?”  Luke knew what he was looking for.  He knew what he had but he didn’t know if he was given a diagnosis yet or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m diagnosed anorexic….” Harry whispered, tears clouding his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Luke spoke gently, “I thought as much.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Luke moved to sit on the sofa next to Harry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you know why you collapsed.  Your body is shutting down Harry and from the sound of your heart I’d give you little over a month left at most if you don’t turn this around.” Luke explained, “Now, I’m not going to force you into the hospital yet, but you’re on bed rest until further notice.  I’ll arrange for you to see a nutritionist and you’ll be given a food plan to follow.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded at each thing he said.  He knew it was coming.  It had been coming for a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand you have a busy job and there are things you absolutely cannot miss so if you have to leave the bus or the hotel you will be in a wheelchair until you are deemed safe by another doctor, okay?”  Harry nodded again, not trusting his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He really hated that it had come to this but there was nothing he could do.  It was his own fault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, now you can put your jumper back on and I’ll go and explain the situation to the other boys.  They need to know, as you are in store for a difficult few weeks and you need their support to get through this.”  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry nodded as he began to pull on his jumper.  Not watching as Luke left the room to talk to the boys.  He took some steadying deep breaths to try and calm himself down.  He let the tears fall as he hid his face in his hands.  He was sobbing his heart out when he felt an arm wrap around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s okay, love.” Soothed Louis as he pulled Harry onto his lap, “It’s okay.  Let it all out, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I...I’m s...s...sorry…” Harry stuttered as he latched onto Louis, sobbing into his chest.  “I’m so...sorry…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, love…  We’re going to get you help and you’ll be fit and healthy again in no time…” Louis soothed,  “It will all be okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry cried into Louis' shirt, not even realising that Liam and Niall were now sitting in the room until Liam spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Harry, we are here for you no matter what,” Liam spoke, his voice full of concern but never once shaking, “You will get through this.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Harry nodded against Louis’ chest, it was the only way he could respond to the boy's words.  He couldn’t bring himself to talk anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew it wouldn’t be easy, getting better but now the boys knew and they were going to help him.  For the first time in years he actually felt hopeful for his future.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The New Bodyguard // Hurt Harry (request)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Request from Nicole<br/>The boys have a new bodyguard who is a bit sleazy and keeps being inappropriate with Harry (like touching him/ saying sexual comments about him in front of everyone). Louis has a crush on Harry though, and doesn't realise how uncomfortable Harry is with the guy (he thinks that Harry likes him back) so he gets really jealous and starts ignoring Harry, which just makes the bodyguard act worse towards Harry.<br/>Then maybe Harry breaks down or something and Louis finally listens? Or Louis catches the guy red-handed and realises what the bodyguard was doing? I don't really mind!!</p><p>WORD COUNT: 5,098</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really hope you all like this one shot!  I loved the prompt and really enjoyed writing it.  I tried to make sure it wasn't too explicit so don't worry :)<br/>Please feel free to add me on Insta @bohogreenwitch and DM me as I love talking to you guys.<br/>Please leave kudos, comments and requests.<br/>All the love,<br/>- El xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Okay we’ve booked the security for the Made in the AM tour,” Smiled the man from behind the desk, “Here’s the list for you boys to look at.  Some names you may already know, others you may not but these are the people you’ll be travelling the world with so make sure you get to know them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He handed Liam the list and he slowly looked down the list.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Paul… Mike… Jones… Saud… Luke…” He mumbled the names under his breath as he went, “Jamie? Who’s Jamie?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“He’s a new guy.” Explained the man, “We had to take on a couple of new personnel for this tour.”  Liam and the boys nodded. “On the tour bus you’ll have Paul and Jamie with you so you’ll meet him soon enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys thanked them before they left the office.  They had a couple of hours to kill before the bus was picking them up for the beginning of the tour so they decided to go to the local mall.  They didn’t get anything, they just wandered around, browsed different shops and got some lunch at the food court.  It wasn’t long after they’d eaten that they got the call telling them the bus was there to pick them up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The four climbed on the bus, finding the familiar interior weirdly comforting.  Liam and Niall settled in at the table at the front of the bus, Louis went and sat at the back of the bus and Harry decided to begin unpacking his stuff as he’d hate it if his shirts got wrinkled.  As he began putting his shirts on the hangers he felt the bus lurch into motion.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was putting his final shirt in the wardrobe when Louis walked into the bunk area.  </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Hey Hazza,” He called, “Do you want a cuppa?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry thought for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No thanks, I’m good.” He smiled, “Do you know when Paul and James are getting here?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think we’re picking them up in about ten minutes,” He smiled,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, thanks.” He smiled in response before closing the wardrobe and climbing into his bunk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>True to Louis’ word, ten minutes later the bus slowed to a stop as they arrived at James and Paul’s pick up location.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright Paul!” Liam called as Paul entered the bus, “How’ve you been man!?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’ve been good thanks!” Paul replied, “Boys, this is James,” He introduced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“James, this is Liam…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Alright,”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Niall,”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Hey mate,”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Louis,”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“How are ya mate!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“And Harry… wait, where’s Harry?” Questioned Paul,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s in his bunk,” Replied Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.  We’ll I can go and introduce myself,” Smiled James, “It’s nice to meet you all though.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah, you too mate,” Liam replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three boys settled in by the table as Paul and James took their luggage into the bunk area to unpack.  As they entered they were about to start a conversation when Paul hurriedly shushed James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Asked James quietly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, he’s asleep,” Replied Paul, pointing to the boy on the bunk. “Let’s unpack later.” Paul suggested,</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Good plan,” Smiled James, “I think I’m going to get some sleep myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’ll see you later,” Replied Paul as he left the bunk area leaving James and Harry alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James turned to where Harry was lying on the bed.  He watched the way his chest was rising and falling, the way he looked so peaceful as he slept.  He slowly allowed his hand to creep forward.  He brought it up and lightly trailed his finger along the sleeping boys plump, pink lips before moving loose hairs off of his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So beautiful…” He whispered under his breath, feeling himself slowly become aroused.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, he told himself as he climbed onto his own bunk across from Harry’s and lay down letting sleep take him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>----------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few hours later Harry had woken and was sitting on the back of the bus watching a film with Louis.  He was sitting a few inches away from Louis with a lot of room to the right of him.  They were laughing at something stupid going on on the TV when James walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heya guys!” Smiled James as he walked over and sat down close to Harry.  So close their thighs were touching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat with his back flush against the sofa and he stretched his arm across the back of the sofa.  Louis looked at the way James was sat with his leg pressed against Harry’s.  He took note of how Harry didn’t move away from the other man.  It hurt for Louis to see this as he thought he and Harry were getting closer but now, he wasn’t so sure.  The rational part of Louis’ brain was telling him it was nothing but part of Louis’ brain just wouldn’t let it go.  So he decided, if Harry wanted to be with James that’s fine, it’s really none of his business, no matter how much it hurts.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Hey Lou,” Called Harry, bringing him out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis just looked to the other lad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we still on for tonight?” Harry asked, hope evident on his features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry and Louis had planned to have dinner that night as they’d be stopping for a few hours in Kent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” Replied Louis, ignoring the hurt on Harry’s face, “I’m quite tired.  Maybe another night.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>With that Louis stood up and walked to his bunk and climbed in, closing the curtain behind him.  He didn’t know why he’d said that, he was actually really looking forward to it but Harry and James sitting so close just made his blood boil.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To say Harry was hurt was an understatement.  He wanted to spend time with Louis, his Louis.  He knew he had feelings for the older lad, he had for a while but, he needed to know if Louis felt the same way.  He was beginning to think he did, however, now he was not too sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry are you okay?”  Asked James innocently after Louis had left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y...yeah,” The boy stuttered in response, “Just a little disappointed is all,” Harry gave a weak smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” James began, turning to Harry, “We could always do something?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first Harry was surprised but when he thought about it, he didn’t know James.  Maybe they should get to know each other.  Paul was like a father figure to the lads, maybe James could be like one too.  Well, when he thought about it, James was a lot younger so maybe more like an older brother than a father but still, family nonetheless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, okay,” Harry nodded, “What do you want to do?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Well, I know a nice cinema in Kent?” He suggested, “The bus will be stationery for around three hours so maybe we could see a film and then get ice cream or something?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry thought for a minute before nodding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that sounds nice,” He smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well the bus will park around six so we can leave at six fifteen.” Smiled James,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I look forward to it,” Harry replied in response before getting up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at his watch to see that it was quarter to five.  He decided he was going to pick out an outfit and clean up a little as he’d been in the same sweats and t-shirt all day.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked into the bunk area to see Louis’ curtain close but through a small gap he could see the glow of his phone, suggesting the boy was still awake.  He was really hurt that Louis didn’t want to hang out anymore but at least he had something to do.  It just, it wouldn’t be the same because James isn’t Louis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just over an hour later James and Harry were sitting in the small cinema.  It was an elegant looking place, it looked like it was ripped right out of the eighties.  Harry had no idea what film they were going to see but he knew it would be fun whatever it was.  James insisted on playing for the tickets and drinks.  As much as Harry protested in the end James won.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Half way through the film Harry felt James moving next to him.  At first he thought nothing of it.  That was until he felt James lay a steady hand on his knee.  Harry, being the polite man he is, didn’t know what to do.  He couldn’t push James off as that would seem rude but, he didn’t know how else to get the man to move his hand.  He glanced at his watch to see there was only around half an hour left of the film so he decided to just sit tight as he’d be able to stand up and leave soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was doing fairly well at keeping his cool.  Ten minutes had slowly past and it didn’t seem like James was going to move his hand anytime soon.  Harry wasn’t comfortable but it was manageable.  Harry felt James’ hand begin to move and his hopes rose, however, they were quickly dashed as he realised what James was doing.  He was moving his thumb in a circular motion against his inner thigh.  Everytime it moved it was coming dangerously close to touching an area that Harry really didn’t want James touching.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt tears come to his eyes as James kept moving.  He didn’t know what to do.  If he was rude to James then it would make the tour bus a really uncomfortable place.  Maybe twenty minutes of discomfort is worth it.  He just has to get through it.  He just has to keep calm, hold in the tears and take deep breaths to ensure that he doesn’t have a complete breakdown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, he made it through the rest of the film without things escalating any further.  They stood slowly and walked out of the theatre.  It was only quarter to eight; they still had another hour before they had to be back on the bus but Harry wanted to go back now.  He knew it was probably a friendly mistake and James didn’t mean it but he still wanted to go back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, ice cream?” Smiled James, once they were outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I’m quite tired.  Do you mind if we just head back?” Harry asked, not meeting James’ eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awh.  Okay, if you really want to,” Harry could hear the disappointment in James’ voice but he just wanted to head back now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Harry smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They two began walking side-by-side down the road back to the bus.  James had received a text saying they had to move the bus because of the fans so now, rather than the bus being just around the corner, it was a full fifteen minute walk away.  They walked fairly quickly as it was getting dark out and they just wanted to get back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were around ten minutes away when Harry felt something brush his hand.  He thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him.  However, a few seconds later he felt it again.  A moment later Harry felt James take his hand.  He wanted to take his hand away but once again he faced the same dilemma.  He didn’t want to be rude.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again Harry knew he only had one option.  Suck it up until he got back to the bus.  He was sure it was a friendly mistake, just like the situation in the cinema.  Surely, it wasn’t anything.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they got back to the bus Harry felt James stop.  He was going to continue walking but James didn’t let go of his hand.  Harry swiftly turned to look at him.  James pulled him close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had a great time tonight,” Said James as he held Harry close.  He lowered his head to whisper in Harry’s ear, “We should do this again sweet cheeks.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>After he said that he let go of Harry’s hand and walked past him.  As he passed him he gave Harry a hard slap on the ass, making the boy jump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard the door to the bus close but he couldn’t bring himself to move.  He thought, no, he was sure they were just friendly mistakes.  However, that, T H A T was not a friendly mistake.  It was a violation of his personal space.  He felt tears spring to his eyes.  He didn’t know what to do.  He took a shaky breath to calm the oncoming anxiety attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?” He heard someone call from behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly turned to see Liam looking at him from the doorway of the bus, concern etched onto his features.  Harry took another deep breath and saw Liam approaching him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” He asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry quickly wiped his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y...yeah.” He shakily replied, “I...I’m just, I’m tired.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Liam didn’t look convinced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” He gently placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder, taking note of the way the boy flinched at the contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.  Yeah I’m fine,” Harry nodded and gave a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam smiled back before walking back onto the bus with Harry following close behind.  When they got on the bus Harry went straight to his bunk.  Not uttering so much as a single word to any of the boys.  He climbed in and quickly closed the curtain before he curled into a tight ball.  It was like he could still feel James hand on his bottom.  He felt the tears return to his eyes as he let himself sob into the pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning Lou,” Smiled Liam as he saw Louis enter the kitchen area the next morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Louis yawned sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you okay last night?” Asked Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, yeah why?” He asked confused,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.  I heard someone crying last night, I thought it may have been you.” Liam explained,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, wasn’t me,” Louis brushed past Liam to get some coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam hummed in response.  It wasn’t long before Niall emerged from the bunks.  This surprised Liam as usually he was the early riser followed by Harry and Louis.  Then Niall would just sleep until one of the boys woke him.  It was strange that Harry had yet to emerge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>About an hour later Harry finally emerged from the bunk area in a pair of loose sweats and a black v-neck t.  He weakly waved to the boys as he walked to the counter to make coffee.  Liam gave him a sympathetic, knowing look as he knew it must have been Harry crying last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyone could tell just by looking at him that something was wrong.  He was pale and had large dark circles under his eyes.  They were also slightly red rimmed so it was clear he’d been crying.  Liam was about to approach him to see if he was okay but James beat him to it.  He smoothly approached and stood next to Harry by the counter.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last night was fun wasn’t it,” He whispered into the boys ear making him shiver.  “You know, we should do it again later.” He purred as he placed a firm hand on Harry’s lower back, not noticing as the boy shivered and moved uncomfortably under his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis saw the way James approached Harry and it just made his blood boil.  Especially when he placed his hand on Harry’s lower back like that.  He didn’t want to see their PDA all over the bus.  He quickly got up and stormed out of the kitchen and went to the back of the bus where Niall, Paul and Liam were now watching TV.  He made sure to close the door behind him so he didn't have to see James and Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were alone Harry felt panic course through his veins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at that,” Purred James, “We’re all alone.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He let his hand slip lower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“P...please stop…” Harry whimpered, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Asked James mockingly, “This is fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tried to step away from the counter and out of James’ touch but James was quick to trap him against the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Playing hard to get I see.” James purred, moving forward to whisper in Harry’s ear “I like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nibbled Harry’s ear before pulling back slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop…” Harry whimpered,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Liam chose the right time to enter the kitchen.  James quickly stepped back and Harry moved away from him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll continue this later,” James spoke just louis enough for Harry to hear before he winked and walked into the living room area of the bus where Louis, Niall and Paul were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt his breathing pick up slightly as he moved backwards to sit by the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay Harry?” Asked Liam concerned,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His breathing became erratic as a sob wracked through his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?!” Called Liam, as he moved to crouch in front of the boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry went to tell Liam that he was fine but all that came out was a choked sob and harsh pants as he tried to breath.  Liam reached out and placed a hand on Harry’s knee to try and comfort him.  He saw Harry flinch as he made contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay, just take a deep breath.  You’ll be okay.  Just take it slow, in and out… that’s it, you’re doing so well.” He soothed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly Harry’s breathing became more even and deep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s it, well done,” Liam soothed as he watched Harry calm down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough Harry’s breathing had evened out but he was still quietly sobbing.  He brought his hands up to his face to cover his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awh Haz, talk to me.  What’s wrong?” Asked Liam, moving to sit next to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just shook his head, not looking at Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, nothing… I...I’m sorry…” Harry breathed shakily,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam put an arm around Harry and pulled him close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t be sorry Haz,” Liam spoke gently, “I’m just worried about you.  Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry just shook his head again and relaxed in Liam’s touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y..yeah I...I’m just, I’m tired a...a..and tour is stressful you know...I just, I’m fine, it’s fine.” Harry gave Liam a sad smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam nodded.  He wasn’t convinced that Harry was fine, however, he knew not to push Harry on the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just promise me that you’ll talk to me or one of the boys if you get overwhelmed or anything, okay?” Liam asked and Harry nodded, “Also, I’m going to let Niall and Louis know about your panic attack, just in case it happens again and I’m not here as they need to know.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry would rather Louis and Niall not know about it but he also knew that Liam was right and they should know.  Just as long as they didn’t know the real reason it happened, he’d be fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay now?” Asked Liam after another moment of silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y...yeah, thanks,” Harry sighed, “I think I just need a lie down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Liam smiled as he pulled Harry into a tight hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Harry was released from Liam’s grip he slipped off the seat and walked slowly to his bunk before climbing in, closing the curtain and letting out a deep breath.  Once he was alone he pulled out his headphones and put them in, turning the music all the way up to drown out the sounds of the other boys on the bus.  He just wanted to be alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam sat at the table for another ten minutes after Harry left.  Something was up with him and he just couldn’t put his finger on what it was.  After another few minutes of thinking he saw Niall enter the kitchen, closing the door to the bunk area.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Li,” Niall smiled but his face dropped when he saw the serious look on Liam’s face, “What’s wrong?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I, somethings going on with Harry,” Liam said, deciding straight forward was the best way to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall sat down opposite Liam at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?  Is he okay?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m honestly not sure.  He uh, well he just had a panic attack.  It was quite a severe one too.” Liam sighed, “He’s insisting that he’s fine but I’m not so sure.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Niall nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, did you ask him what caused it?” Asked Niall,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he claimed that he was just tired and that tour was stressful but he’s never reacted like that before.” Liam explained,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.  Are you going to tell Louis?” Niall enquired,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Definitely, and Paul but uh, it was after James left that he really started panicking so can you do me a favour and not mention this around him?” Liam requested,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Just make sure you let Louis know soon, I know he really worries about Harry and he’d hate it if we didn’t tell him.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Liam nodded, feeling much better after talking to Niall.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just coming up to lunch time when Louis emerged from the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey guys,” He smiled as he saw Niall and Liam playing cards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Lou,” Niall replied,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Added Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis looked around the room confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Harry?” He curiously enquired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liam sighed, “He’s in his bunk.  I think he’s asleep.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis scoffed, “God he’s lazy.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Liam pulled a face, “No.  Louis he uh, he had a panic attack earlier.  He’s not okay.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis’ face fell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean he’s not okay?” Asked Louis, concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know but there’s something going on with him.” Liam explained,  “Just, until we know what's going on, be gentle with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis nodded, swallowing heavily and sitting down next to Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys!” Paul called from the front of the bus, “We’re stopping in soon for a few hours so if you want to get ready you can go out for a while.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Okay! Thanks Paul!” Replied Liam, “One of us should wake Harry.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The boys nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do it!” They heard from the doorway, turning to see James stood there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis wanted to be the one to wake him but he knew James and Harry were getting closer.  James should be the one to wake him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry wasn’t asleep.  He was still curled up in his bunk, trying to block out the world.  He didn’t know what to do.  What James was doing wasn’t right but he’d be stuck with him for the next few months so he couldn’t say anything.  It’s not like the boys would believe him anyway, they all seem to really like James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was drifting in his thoughts when he felt a hand run down his back and pause briefly just below his waist.  He froze and felt his blood run cold.  He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and prayed that whoever it was would get that he just wanted to be left alone.  Slowly, the hand disappeared and Harry thought he was free.  That was until he felt the same hand carding through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes were now open but he couldn’t move.  He felt it as James’ hand roamed his body.  He never touched an explicit area, however, Harry considered every touch James made inappropriate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please…” Harry whimpered, his voice shaking,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awh, babe.” Purred James as he sat down on Harry’s bunk next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry wanted to move, to push him away, to shout and yell but he couldn’t, he physically couldn’t.  He felt tears begin to fall as James lay down next to him and put his arms around him.  To anyone passing it may look as if James was comforting Harry because he was crying but he wasn’t.  He was making Harry cry.  He was making Harry hyperventilate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please… stop…” Harry cried quietly,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Once again playing hard to get, you know how I like that…” James purred as he pushed his hips against Harry.  Allowing the younger to feel his obvious arousal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“P...please n..n..no…” Harry cried, squeezing his eyes shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys! We’re here!” Called Paul down the bus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like we’ll have to continue this later,” Purred James, “I’ll get you tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James then slipped off the bunk, giving Harry’s ass a sharp slap before walking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Harry heard the door from the bunk section close, Harry pulled his legs into his chest and curled up as tight as he could.  Finally, letting the real tears fall.  He pulled his hands into his sweater to create sweater paws and held them to his head, covering his face so he was bawling and sobbing into his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, are you coming with us?” He heard Louis call from the kitchen, “Harry?!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry tried to take in a deep enough breath to speak but he could only get out a strangled sob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?!” Louis called, anger taking over his voice, “Fine, ignore me then but don’t complain when we leave you all alone.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry let out another uncontrollable sob.  He wanted to be alone, that’s all he wanted but not now, right now he just wanted Louis.  He wanted Louis to hold him, to comfort him, to tell him everything would be okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last chance!” Called Louis, “Paul, James, Niall, Liam and I are all going.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis called from the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys, maybe one of us should stay?” Asked Liam,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  If he’s going to ignore us just leave him be.  It’s his own fault.” Replied Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To say Louis was hurt was an understatement.  He’d seen the way James had cuddled Harry earlier.  The way he spooned Harry.  It really hurt him as that was their thing.  Harry and Louis always used to cuddle but recently Harry hadn’t wanted to.  He’d claimed it was stress but it clearly wasn’t, it was just that Harry apparently didn’t want Louis anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end all of them left, leaving Harry alone in his bunk, bawling and crying and shaking.  He tried to calm himself down but he just couldn’t do it.  He felt like there was no oxygen left on the bus.  He needed air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shakily pushed himself off the bunk.  He slowly made his way down the bus, leaning heavily on the wall to support himself as he was dizzy from the lack of oxygen.  He got through the door and into the kitchen area.  He was almost by the door when he felt it.  He felt someone grab his wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was too dazed to know who it was but as soon as he felt himself get pressed up against the kitchen table he knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you I’d get you,” James purred in his ear causing Harry to whimper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt James hold his arms back, stopping him from moving or doing anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please… please… stop..” Harry cried and whimpered, “No...no, please...no...stop…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He felt James run his other hand up and down his body, feeling various areas and lingering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please...no...no..no.n..no…” Harry brokenly whimpered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His blood ran cold when he heard it, the sound of the zip of James’ jeans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No...no..no..please..no..s..stop..nnonono” Harry bawled and cried as he felt James feel around for the zip on Harry’s jeans, “No...please...don’t … stop...please…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>James slowly tugged down on Harry’s jeans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love it when you play hard to get,” He purred as he finally got the jeans half way down Harry’s thights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nonono...no..stop..pl..please...please...stop…”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“GET THE FUCK OFF HIM RIGHT NOW!”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt the pressure restraining him disappear and his legs buckled as he fell to the floor of the bus, breathing harshly and sobbing uncontrollably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay… you’re okay…” Harry heard a familiar voice soothe, “I’m here, you’re okay…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry felt arms pulling him up.  He was so out of it he didn’t even know who was there but there was a familiar scent that made him feel safe.  So when this person lifted him into their arms he didn’t fight back.  He just cuddled in closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay… you’re okay… I’ve got you… you’re safe…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry felt his jeans get pulled off and as he was about to panic further he felt the soft material of his favourite sweat pants get tugged up his legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay… I’ve got you… you’re safe… you’re okay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was still sobbing but he was no longer hyperventilating so that was good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay, love… you’re safe…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Harry felt his sweat shirt get pulled off over his head.  Once again, he was beginning to panic until he felt a different hoodie get pulled over his head.  He knew it wasn’t his but it smelt so familiar.  So comforting.  So safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smelt like…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lou?” Harry choked out,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay love, I’ve got you,” Louis replied, pulling Harry close to his chest, “I’m right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m s...sorry L..Lou…” He sobbed harder, “I...I didn’t want it… I tried t..t..to stop him...I...I”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Louis just held him tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know, it’s okay.  I’ve got you.” Louis soothed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long until Louis realised Harry had fallen asleep, mumbling and sobbing about how he didn’t want it to happen.  Louis still had the boy in his arms and so moved to the sofa at the back of the bunk to make the two of them more comfortable.  Louis sat just holding the boy until he was interrupted by Liam, Niall and Paul returning to the bus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck happened here!?” Yelled Paul, running through the bus to where Louis and Harry were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was quick to explain what had happened.  What he’d seen when he entered the bus.  What would have happened if he hadn't gotten back when he did.  He explained how he’d instantly punched James and knocked him out cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god…” Breathed Liam.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harry woke up he finally told all of the boys about what James had been doing, about all of the inappropriate touches, about all of the uncomfortable words.  He once again began uncontrollable sobbing and hyperventilating.  It took Louis and the boys a while to calm Harry down but once they had Louis lifted the younger boy and placed him into his bunk before climbing in and holding him close as he comforted the younger boy into a fitful sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James was arrested and after Harry gave his statement he was promptly removed from the One Direction security team and not long after he went to prison for harrassment and attempted rape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis knew it would be awhile before Harry would be okay again.  He didn’t even know if Harry would ever truly be okay again but he did know that he would do whatever it takes to protect the younger boy.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hello Everyone!<br/>I hope you're all doing well with back to school season coming up.</p><p>Since I go back to sixthform in a week I thought I'd clear some stuff up and explain how often I'll be updating and stuff, while I'm in school.</p><p>Currently, I'm off for summer, however, Wednesday 2nd of September will be my first day back at school.  My school day runs from 8:50am until 4pm.  In that time I will have lessons and will be working and, yeah, you know the drill.  But, as I'm in sixthform I will have free lessons.  In those lessons I will be doing homework and my driving lessons will also be scheduled in that time.  However, on the off chance that I don't have work to do or I finish my work early I will try and work on chapters or one-shots or whatever it is that I'm currently working on on here.</p><p>I'm in quite the fortunate situation that, while most of my piers are doing four subjects, I've only chosen to do three (Drama, English Lit and Film Studies - if you're wondering) so, that means I will have a full subject's amount of frees.  This is good as most teachers assume the students are doing four and so set work knowing that you're doing three others.  This, in theory, means that I should be able to dedicate at least an hour a week of school time to work on my fictions.  Obviously, things may come up and I may not be able to write but I will try.</p><p> </p><p>I have a bad habit of getting inspiration and starting multiple fictions and then never finishing them.  If you've been around since I started posting my Flarrow and Huntbastian fics then you'll know what I mean.  So, much like I did back then with I'm Okay Really and Hurt and Confusion, I'm going to order my fics in a list of priority.  What this means is that all other fictions will be put on hold until the one at the top of the list is complete and so on.  The only exception to this list will be 'The Little Book of Larry' as that is a book of one-shots that will never really be complete.  Also, writing one-shots is a good way of breaking up my writing on other fictions, meaning I won't get bored of writing as I'll always have something else to work on.</p><p>The list is as follows:</p><p>1) Hear My Words, Not My Voice (one thousand words)</p><p>2) Let Me Help You</p><p>3) The Styles Guide To Being Beautiful</p><p>4) Save Myself</p><p> </p><p>Addressing One Thousand Words, as I've re-written it as Hear My Words, Not My Voice I have decided that on September 1st I will delete One Thousand Words from my account, meaning you will no longer be able to access it.  As of this message being posted I will have changed the settings so that only people with Ao3 accounts can access it but in September it will be fully removed.</p><p> </p><p>One final thing!<br/>I'm creating a new Ao3 account where all of my works will be re-posted, including my older works such as I'm Okay Really and Hurt and Confusion.  I won't be deleting any of the fictions from this account straight away, however, I do intend to eventually shut down this account.  Once I've completely moved a work I will set it so only registered users can view it and by January 2021 this account will be deleted.</p><p>Don't worry!  I'm still going to post and read your comments and everything in between now and then but, keep in mind that works are moving.  As soon as the new account is set up I will post a link to it.</p><p>In the meantime feel free to follow me on Instagram @bohogreenwitch and say hi!  I love talking to all of you and it's a great way to interact with you all.<br/><br/></p><p>As always, </p><p>All the love,</p><p>- El xoxo</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hello Everyone!  I hope you’re all doing well and are staying safe.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some people have commented telling me that my fictions have been re-posted on another account.  Whilst usually I would be annoyed by the reposting and thankful that you’d reported it to me but worry not!  If you see one of my fictions reposted on an account titled 3ls_fictions then it is not a stolen fic.  3ls_fictions is my new Ao3 account!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most of my fictions have been moved, links to the moved fictions are linked below.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>The Styles Guide to Being Beautiful: </b>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612446">
    <span>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612446</span>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <b>Hear My Words, Not My Voice (AKA One Thousand Words):</b>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160982/chapters/63653257">
    <span>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160982/chapters/63653257</span>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <b>Let Me Help You:</b>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213380/chapters/63796516">
    <span>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213380/chapters/63796516</span>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <b>Sign of the Times:</b>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26177044/chapters/63697888">
    <span>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26177044/chapters/63697888</span>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <b>Hurt and Confusion:</b>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26194057">
    <span>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26194057</span>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <b>I’m Okay Really:</b>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158615">
    <span>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158615</span>
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are still more fictions to move and not all of the moved fictions are completely moved and up to date.  For example I’ve currently only posted chapter one of ‘The Styles Guide to Being Beautiful’ on 3ls_fictions but I am trying to update them at least once every two to three days!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Save Myself’ and ‘The Little Book of Larry’ have yet to move but I will post the first chapter of ‘The Little Book of Larry’ on 3ls_fictions either this afternoon or tomorrow and then I’ll move ‘Save Myself’ either tomorrow or Friday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the end of the year all of these fictions will be moved and taken down from this site so be sure to check and subscribe to my new account for updates and uploads:</span>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ls_fictions/pseuds/3ls_fictions">
    <span>https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ls_fictions/pseuds/3ls_fictions</span>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>I hope you’re all doing well in these times of uncertainty and are looking after yourselves.  If you ever need to talk don’t hesitate to comment on one of my fictions, although I don’t use this account to post I still receive emails about the comments so I will see it.  If you’d prefer it to be more private then add me on Instagram @bohogreenwitch and send me a direct message.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I love talking to all of you as you’re all so nice and kind.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the love,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>El xoxo</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you all enjoyed this one shot!<br/>Please leave kudos and a comment if you did!<br/>As always I accept prompts so feel free to comment.  They do not have to be purely Larry prompts (they don't even necessarily have to be one direction or fanfiction related if you don't want it to be), however, if they are not they won't be included in this particular work but they may be used else-wear!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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